Yogagirl, just because we are dealing with a pandemic and all that entails, doesn’t mean we have shut off our hearts to the world too.  No apologies needed.  You love that sweet outdoor cat and he loves you too.  I am sorry he is in poor health.  It is so difficult to Be apart from the ones we love, even our animal friends, when we most want to comfort them.  He knows he is safe and you and your neighbor have taught him about loving humans.  That is beautiful.
Sending you a big hug.
i am glad you have been able to read books.  I haven’t been able to quiet my mind enough to yet but you have inspired me to do try today.  Thank you.
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@yogagirl
Hang in there. As for the cat, call the vet and ask - if it's time to euthanize, can we do it outside so I can be with him? That would be especially appropriate for an outdoor cat, and will minimize risk for you and the vet staff both.
@Lovendures
Today was the first day I went online to see that an old friend just lost a close friend of theirs to COVID. And yes, I feel like I'm on a cooking show too - moreso because I've been posting a weekly recipe to FB, including pictures (I worked as a pro chef for a while). I'm still pretty well stocked on all things, including meats, because one of our local farmers started selling direct to customers (farm markets are all closed), and I'm getting better at reusing leftovers and having little to no food waste.
@ghandigirl
I worry about you daily, I'm doing my best to send positivity your way.
@coyote
Happy birthday - keeping you in my thoughts today too, enjoy your ritual, may it bring you much peace.
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I am having similar symptoms. Â I got tested for covid and it came back negative, so wondering why this is happening.
I keep learning something fascinating about you. You'v lived in Italy, you used to do TV acting, you're a dancer, and now it turns out you're a former pro chef. Anything else we should know?
I keep learning something fascinating about you. You'v lived in Italy, you used to do TV acting, you're a dancer, and now it turns out you're a former pro chef. Anything else we should know?
Lots, but as they say, No Spoilers ?Â
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Its been a couple days since I have checked in my anxiety has gotten extremely bad lately from everything going on in the world, it makes my heart ache so much I cry for all the families affected. I am going in and out of panic attacks daily cause I'm fearful for my son and his future. Now to the positive side ? me and my little family have been trying to take walks when we can, play games, and we even got to paint! I want to try to focus on the present and be grateful for what I have but sometimes that can be hard....thank you for listening to my rant ???
The anxiety is SO hard. It is what I'm struggling with the most, and my normal mindfulness, gratitude and other practices feel anemic in the face of it. You can just feel the dread in the air. Also, my husband continues to work outside the home in a business deemed essential, so it is likely we will be exposed. How bad will this be for us? Is my congestion just from allergies or the start of COVID-19? And then there's the anxiety and stress of so many people losing work, possibly losing their businesses--if you are empathic at all (and being VERY empathic brings most of us here) it is overwhelming, possibly to the point of incapacitation.Â
We have a dog, and walking her twice a day has been helpful. In spite of the unfolding tragedy now, spring here is glorious, and I drink in the daily changes as much as I can. Right now we've just passed the peak of violets and tulips, and the redbuds are in full swing. Dogwoods are starting. Trees are beginning to leaf out and there are a variety of colors you see only briefly each year. The birds, especially raucous in the morning, bring some cheer. They are not afraid. The greening of the year always brings me joy and I don't want to miss it.
I make the mistake of getting on facebook to relieve feelings of isolation but the news headlines are overwhelming. It is probably best to limit media/news right now. My son is with me half of each week (shared custody) and I find it easier to manage when he is here. It also helps to focus on my students, many of whom are struggling to adapt to the abrupt need for online learning. When I am able to focus on concern for other people, the weight of anxiety shifts and is more bearable. It is still there, but so is a feeling of my own strength and that comes from feeling connected to others, that we are all trying to hold one another up. The sentiment was beautifully expressed by Glennon Doyle in this video talk: https://www.facebook.com/glennondoyle/videos/921122614991566/?__tn__=kC-R&eid=ARB8fwoOdmRTqskVqixb1_q3Fm4vWCagjisKxzFevDphheSPoiQ90_wTWq82M2m6E6WdzBnBIWWSfX4r&hc_ref=ARQUdP3YLT5QE088PSkiTwUQvTu0Nod5zyY46-SIhaxel_AAHmp_osBgdoRTahm3ihY&fref=nf&__xts__ [0]=68.ARBujYl5s3iYtNwRbCiVndAsWn5tA7-wfCkVF3JrYgD3lED1Bd0hb3Pn_E-XGx2GddRGxxNcQTQIhE3Naple8ll5JhqBXqOFu_GbUlz7meToSwp3Br93v_BJX1gt_2HrlYfkon_juKnlKkB5KwT-d9X6npc2TWsicGv0d0Kr95o6j9TiowpXTqrTyEmCBrfunNathDed-KiJ9hCSF4EpEK6D8vxk7KhEl_pKnNQ092iZ3Lfp82lA-VCBSEzWjy4IBnUGAyLPQmx0bIKtGMNvtiHtKRZ4-yxhR3Z13fQzCR5zpW14rrPvMW-ixdhjFAhtc5WHD_rs3bn4-F9jcEYylMW-g-Gcvg
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She ends with an image of sending our love to all, like Care Bears shooting out light from their chests. I think of Baba and others here who regularly pray for the well being of everyone. It is too easy for fear to make us feel alone and victimized. I'm not saying don't feel afraid! Of course we feel it. But we have the power to shift the focus of our attention. So when the fear wells up in me I acknowledge it and I try to be kind toward myself. I am deeply afraid, and it is okay. I notice the physical sensations of that fear in my body. I feel the fear of others, and that is okay too. But in addition to my desire for self-preservation and concern for my family, I feel a greater love and concern for my community and all who are suffering. Shifting my attention from myself to others gives me strength and courage to keep going, so I practice it over and over again. Love is always the better path--we can't control what will happen, but we can tap into lovingkindness for all and focus our attention on that. And even send out those waves with the intent to support others, knowing this is so, so difficult, so painful and we are all in this together.
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@TriciaCT Thank you for the healing light. Â We lost our boy yesterday afternoon the vet said he is pretty sure he ingested a toxin. Ihope it was accidental, I can't imagine anyone mean enough to hurt that sweet boy. My heart is broken. Â I think waht makes it worst is being isolated. Â I live alone and only see my neightbors over the fence. Â I have talked to mybest friend and my accupuncturist, both cat lovers, which helps but everytime I go to the kitchen I look out the backdoor glass looking for him. Â He used to sit on the railing and look in the window like "hey you in there? Â I want to come in and play ". Â It's going to be a very strange summer here. Â
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I'll send some light tonight before bed. I'm sure it might have been an accident, since people tend to put pesticides and such to their gardens or something. I know it must have been difficult at this time, especially that isolated feeling, but please take it slow and easy.
Oh the loss of a beloved pet is such deep grief and the process towards setting their precious spirit free to allow these precious beings permission to let go of feeling us in pain takes much more time than most could ever imagine.Â
May this process be as gentle as it can be for you and may you allow yourself to understand so many deep grief and grieving and even feelings of increased anxiety or even abandonment to be recognized so each can grieve separately for what they represent to you and your very very tender and hurting heart.
Dear dear yogagirl i send you more understanding than you can even imagine for the depths of loss of my own beloved animal companions. Even at 70 now, i can picture and remember the face, the sweet loved of dozens and dozens yet today. Loved every single one of them even the yappy yappy happy, meowing nonstop chatty ones or the ones that escaped to freedom and has to be caught and brought back to a well fed, loving home.
As much as we love them, treasure them and are devastated by loss before their time, the more we have so deeply loved, the deeper we often seem to grieve.Â
Much much grace, love, light and healing thoughts and prayers to you and to your hurting heart. ?
I'm so sorry. Having just lost my ginger boy 6 weeks ago myself, I'm still grieving too, even though I have another [sick] cat and 2 dogs to take care of. I still miss him. In fact I STILL miss my prior ginger cat, who died in 2008. When I see a pic of either of them I burst into tears... Human death doesn't bother me nearly as much, maybe because animals are so innocent...