What should I do with my intuitive experiences? Where Should I Go From Here?
I am finding myself really ultrasensitive to noise, more so than usual. Like, I don’t want the radio or TV on, even if it’s light stuff.
I want to be in the cool, darkness. I don’t know if I’m trying to hide or heal.
even the sun and heat is too much for me.
Beautifully said, @bluebelle. And, here, let me hold onto some of that with you. ❤️ 🌼
I relate to your recent difficulties. It feels as though we're going through a Dark Night of the Collective Soul as much as any personal one. The good news is that this archetypal journey is ancient and universal, and whatever the details or circumstances, always ends in redemption and illumination. Eventually.
@pacosurfer This is completely understandable, in light of everything.
For me, YEARS of extreme auditory- and photosensitivity were symptoms of an undiagnosed autoimmune condition. After certain key lifestyle interventions (going on an anti-inflammatory diet, for one), it went away. I can't tell you how incredible it felt just being able to adore the sunlight again. Or not feeling stabbed in the face by the subtle sound of someone chewing! I have to be in a migraine state for these sensitivities to resurface, and that never lasts too long, thank goodness.
Bluebelle and Vestralux, So much wisdom in your posts. Thank you.
We can't go forward as a country until we face the truth about our past and ourselves.
That's quite a sobering and humbling thought. But it is the essential truth that will unshackle us.
I resonate with many of your challenges, Bluebelle. No wonder you’ve had the energy of a zucchini (I would assume, cooked?). That’s a lot to deal with in a year. I found it inspiring that you’ve embraced these challenges as part of your life’s journey. And you’ve reminded me that, although we’re living in a “orange dystopian hellscape” (love it!), a time of energy renewal and healing will come. It’s so easy to get caught up in the “I can’t stand this” mindset, especially when we’re bone-weary exhausted. But the fact is, we can stand this. We’re already doing that. And this too shall pass.
It feels as though we're going through a Dark Night of the Collective Soul as much as any personal one.
I think those of us who are particularly sensitive are mirroring the current disequilibrium (in nature and culture) in our bodies. And I think this serves an evolutionary function: By literally taking it on, we become intimate with it, which makes us more equipped to help heal it. [emphasis mine]
God I love that! I hadn’t looked at my current disequilibrium through that particular lens, but it makes total sense to me. Not that I want to suffer (the young Catholic girl in me gave that up a long time ago), but suffering is part of the human condition. The key for me is to not wallow in the drama. If I do, then I realize that my ego is running the show. It’s equally important that I acknowledge the joy of life.
Vestralux, when you shared about your autoimmune challenges, I thought you were talking about me. I have/am experiencing everything you described. It began almost 20 years ago, but the bizarre autoimmune symptoms have gotten worse over time, especially during the past 3 years. Severe autonomic dysfunction, among other things. Plus my body is an older model (67), so there’s that piece. A practical question: you mentioned how an anti-inflammatory diet helped you. I eat well, but I do eat meat, which I know contributes to inflammation. Is there a particular anti-inflammatory diet you would recommend, or are they all pretty much the same?
@pacosurfer, I too have problems with auditory and photo sensitivity. Ear plugs and sunglasses are my friend. I love moonlight. I avoid the busiest times in restaurants. Because I have such sensitivities and can’t always avoid a situation, I sometimes ask for what I need. My hair salon is located in a large shopping mall -- talk about sensory overload -- so I frequently ask the salon to turn down or change the music they are playing. I feel that I don’t owe them an explanation. One of the many gifts of being an old gal.
First, let me acknowledge again for a second how much I love this community and all its wise and beautiful souls. It's so good to feel connected to others who are walking such similar paths. ❤️
@deetoo, I laughed at your comment to Bluebelle: "No wonder you’ve had the energy of a zucchini (I would assume, cooked?)." Boy, howdy.
Many in the chronic illness/autoimmune communities refer to themselves as "spoonies," after having adopted the metaphor of "being low on spoons" when they're facing fatigue. Most of us with autoimmune conditions also have chronic fatigue syndrome, so when we have to do anything out in the world—even as simple as grocery shopping or running errands (and certainly after time spent in crowds)—we can be completely wiped out the next day, or the next week.
You have so many "spoons" in the drawer, and you know you're going to need some for tomorrow's tea, so you have to stay mindful. (You probably know all about this.) But the term is pretty much insider baseball for the chronically ill. Unless an able-bodied person has learned the phrase, it's unlikely to help them understand us, and that's one of the more fatiguing problems we face. (Most of us look perfectly healthy on the surface, right?) So, I make a motion to replace "low on spoons" with "feeling like an over-cooked zucchini." Who wouldn't understand that?
You asked about anti-inflammatory diet and meat. What's bizarre is that I was a vegetarian most of adult life, but the most credibly researched anti-inflammatory diets I've found require meat (hormone free, grass fed only) while cutting out a LOT of things we wouldn't expect, like nuts, seeds, nightshades (tomatoes), and legumes, but also things we would, like dairy and gluten. The diet that's worked wonders for me is an "elimination diet" called the Autoimmune Protocol, which is paleo. And super clean.
Elimination means you go off all inflammatory foods for an extended period and one-at-a-time, slowly reintroduce a food to see what your body's response is. One of the more overriding commonalities among multiple autoimmune illnesses is the fact that they create food sensitivities and allergies, even late in life. Often, we don't realize we've acquired them.
It turned out that I'd racked up some pretty awful sensitivities to all of these foods, but after a year (some only go 60 or 90 days), I was able to reintroduce everything in moderation, except gluten. (Dairy causes me immediate sinusitis, so I generally don't eat it, but it's not going to kill me.) You'd be surprised what your body stops craving after 3-4 weeks. I would have NEVER thought I could live without regular bread or dairy, but I don't even miss them. I thought I ate well before, but since AIP, I've become so much more aware of precisely how a given food or fragrance or chemical, etc., is impacting me. Today, I can tell you with absolute certainty when a so-called organic strawberry has pesticides. And far too often, I can literally taste plastic particles in prepared/restaurant foods (where a lot of microwaving happens). It ain't pleasant.
There's lots of good info online, but if you're interested, here's a great little space to learn about AIP.
I realize this has been a derail, so I do want to state here my working theory that these kinds of issues may be more common among people with psychic sensitivity. The body and mind are an integrated system, after all.
I also have an autoimmune disease, Psoriasis. Maybe there is a correlation with intuitive and psychic people. Interesting indeed.
I believe what you have said about diet. I have gone through times of illuminating night shades with some degree of help. I know I need to work of the other items as well. What I have noticed which has helped to some degree is taking curcumin. Less joint pain and inflammation. Also getting rid of sugar. It takes a few weeks to not feel the addiction of sugar for me, but only a short time of exposing myself to it again before I feel the desire to keep having it.
@vestralux, I've been viewing this website for about 2 years, and am amazed by the number of community members who have comparable health challenges. I agree with you that it is connected to our empathic/psychic sensitivities. My autoimmune issues began when I was a small child, and I would venture to guess that many of you have similar stories.
I was diagnosed with CFS 20 years ago, but I've never heard of the term "spoonies." My CFS doc speak more in terms of an energy bank account -- if you withdraw too much, you're in trouble. Too much could mean going to the grocery store and cooking a big dinner. The challenge is knowing when you're overdoing it, because the effect isn't always immediate. When I'm feeling better, I always seem to overdo it. And you're right -- we look perfectly healthy on the surface. Anyway, in my case I've always suspected that the CFS label is more of a catch-all diagnosis when they couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong with me. And since that time, other unusual diagnoses that have popped up. What's interesting is that my sister is 4 years older and vibrantly healthy. She never understood my health condition until she was hired to work in marketing for a CFS clinic. Only when she witnessed some patients coming in wearing their pajamas, did she understand how chronic this condition could be.
About the food sensitivities -- for me, it's not a food allergy, but rather a mast cell disorder. So either histamine-containing, or histamine-producing foods can create allergic symptoms. My histamine response really depends on the amount I eat of the particular food, how often, and the time of year.
Vestralux, thank you for the info and link to the AIP protocol. I do eat some dairy, lots of nuts, beans, and gluten-free steel cut oats. Oh -- and 85% dark chocolate! That's quite interesting about the meat. It's really worth a shot for me to try the AIP diet. I'll try anything healthy to get more gas in my engine.
@lovendures I'm close to a couple of people who struggle with psoriasis, and one of them had a lot of success with AIP. Like you, sugar (and gluten) was a big trigger for him.
I swear by curcumin as an anti-inflammatory (really helps my joint pain too), and cook with turmeric as often as possible. I've also discovered the right brand of CBD oil for me, another natural anti-inflammatory. Interestingly, the lower dose (250mg) is more helpful for relieving headaches (fast!), and the higher dose (1000mg) relieves painful muscle knotting and joint inflammation. CBD is also wonderful for anxiety, though I haven't tended to struggle with that since I stopped taking the prescription pain medications I'd been given for years. I was fortunate not to struggle with addiction, but the body certainly becomes dependent to such powerful substances, and the primary reason is that those drugs potentiate far more pain in the long run than they soothe.
I titrated myself off them over two years ago because I was absolutely desperate to see what else I could do to improve my energy (and Spirit was really encouraging me to make the leap). And honestly, detoxing my system from medications has been the single most impactful lifestyle change in reducing my symptom flares, pain, and fatigue. Of course, it took time for my body and brain to readjust, but it has been well-worth any initial discomfort. (I'm convinced those medications had become disruptive to my dopamine production/reuptake.)
My sister was recently diagnosed with "medication-induced" Lupus. The med list for that doesn't include opiates and the like, but I'm fairly convinced that it should. ...I'm sharing all this here on the off chance someone could benefit.
@deetoo I've been amazed to see the high number of posters here who talk about autoimmune issues and the like, too! No doubt, we're all sensitive in multiple ways. Makes sense.
And my heart goes out to you regarding your mast cell condition. SO MANY foods contain histamines or trigger its production. Yikes. I'm glad you're able to eat some in moderation.
It was initially difficult for me to reincorporate meat into my diet. Cooking with it was unpleasant, to say the least, and as a former veg, I still struggle with guilt. But when I go without it too long, I notice the difference. Just a little improves my energy and stamina immediately and for several days. I prepare a lot of uncured turkey bacon just to keep it on hand for when I'm flagging.
I love cashews more than most things, and used to eat them daily by the handful. No one could have convinced me that I was sensitive to nuts of any kind, much less cashews, if I hadn't committed to AIP full stop and realized their effect when I tried to reintroduce them a year later. Same with chia seeds. Man, I miss those guys.
My twin and i both have some form of auto immune disorder too! When my twin was 11 she was hospitalized for a few weeks over it, the doctors thought it was leukemia at first, or some kind of childhood cancer, (thankfully it was not) but we never truly got to the bottom of it. My aunt also suffers from lupus and my mom has thyroid issues and is recovering from thyroid cancer currently. Not sure if that means much, but it really is only the women in my family with these types of illness. Interesting indeed.
So I wasn’t sure where to add this, but i had something really amazing happen last night and i wanted to share it here. I have never had any kind of auditory messages during my meditation/ channeling, its mostly visions and intuitive feelings... but last night i did for the first time. I often get messages in the form of pictures or semi-dreams right before i fall asleep.
Last night i remember kindly asking my spirit guides for help or an answer- i was going to ask about something personal, but to “warm up” i asked what was going to happen with this “trump thing”, where was our country going? In the loudest most clear male voice i heard a booming “LEFT WING”.
I shot up out of bed. It was so startling! It was like the tv had been turned on in my head and a newscaster had said it. I had never heard this before, or anything like it honestly. It was clearly not my own voice/ internal voice and so unexpected. It was an older male forsure.. it sounded like someone strong, or wise, if that makes sense. I was a bit nervous.
For those with experience with things like this- does this sound familiar to you? I am never totally sure if this is coming from my own mind or “elsewhere”. It really did scare me because it was very clearly not my voice, and it came out of a silence and after a period of relaxing/ focusing in for me. I definitely have an internal dialogue (as do we all) but this felt genuinely like someone speaking to me.
I also asked (nervously- I was a little scared!) “okay... thankyou.. so how will he (trump) go?” I heard a quieter, female seeming voice, that again just did not feel like my own, saying, “follow the money. Its all in the money”
I was so grateful, i thanked whoever it was up there and felt so excited.
If it was what my gut was telling me, I am feeling proud of myself! I am lucky to have all of you lovely people on here who will listen to me and learn from. Thankyou all
Does your twin also have psychic sensitivities? Reading that hit me because my mother, who was an identical twin (sadly, her twin passed at 3-days-old), also has autoimmune issues (Hashimoto's and fibro), as did many of her siblings. And it's her ancestral line which is strongly psychic and mediumistic. Weird that I only just now put that together. Something to think about...
As for your auditory experience, yes!
I've experienced very similar here and there throughout my life. I'm certain many of us here have. I tend to hear a voice as though it were coming from just behind and to the right of me. Usually I hear it inside my head the way you described, as clearly as you'd hear any spoken voice. But I've occasionally heard an external auditory voice spoken directly into my ear.
I've been woken up dozens of times since childhood by the clear sound of my own name. That sort of thing is usually pretty startling (especially when I was a kid), and for years, I questioned whether I was inventing it—even when the sound was distinctly not my own. But I eventually realized that my guides were deliberately bringing me out of deeper sleep so that I could receive important information from that pre-sleep hypnogogic state, when we're most open. (Like how you receive images or "semi-dreams" as you're drifting off.)
There have also been times when I've heard a clear, almost urgent voice just before my life was in danger. For example, years ago, while traveling for work, I'd gone to an old shopping center I wasn't familiar with (it had almost no business). Within seconds of entering, I could feel someone behind me staring at me and all the hairs went up on my neck. I had to force myself to turn and make eye contact, and found a tall middle aged man, leaning against a jewelry counter. He was engaged in a conversation with another man but he was staring me dead in the eye with a look I can only describe as an unholy mixture of obsession and absolute hatred.
I'm a petite human like all the Lilliputians in my family, but at the time I was seriously ill and awaiting surgery. I didn't even weigh 90 pounds wet. If a predator selects the weakest, most vulnerable target to hunt, I was it.
As soon as I saw him, I turned on my heels and marched into a women's clothing store where I waited for like 20 minutes. I planned to leave the mall immediately, but wanted enough time to have passed so that he'd be gone when I walked out. And he was. So, I started speed walking down the same wide corridor I'd come in through back toward the row of glass doors to the parking lot. (This was during full daylight hours, mind you.) There wasn't anyone in that corridor when I started walking and I never heard a single footfall—trust me that my senses were on high alert during that trek.
Right as I got to the door and started to open it, I heard a disembodied voice as clear as any I've ever heard say, "Turn around!"
I turned around.
And that same man was standing OVER me, not 2 inches away, holding a metal pipe! (It's almost just as unnerving to revisit this 11 years later.)
Adrenaline is a wonder. Sick as I was, I literally crouched down like a ninja and darted past him, back into the mall where I ran like a cheetah into a Talbots. I grabbed the first associate I saw and told her to call 9/11. Weirdly, several plain clothes police officers were there in under 60 seconds (we all marveled at that) but the man was already gone. One of the officers was a woman and she told me that they'd gotten there so fast because there'd been recent incidents involving women, and they'd been looking for the suspect.
I can't tell you how grateful I am to Spirit for getting my attention, and then literally commanding me to turn around.
In your case, I think it's healthy and wise to question whether an experience was real. But I also want to point out that you say you heard the voice after you'd decided to connect with your guides—and after you asked a direct question. Sounds like you got your answer, all right. 😉
Am playing catch-up with this amazing thread. Am still working my way through it since I was mostly off the grid last week.
@laura-f I love that visualization for feeling grounded you provided in your 7/31 post. I do one when I am afraid or intimidated that is similar and now have added yours to my repertoire. I sit down either in a chair or mat or floor, doesn't matter, and imagine a tail coming out of my tailbone and rooting me into the earth like a strong root.
Another visualization I do when I need to be in my higher self is to see that star energy that Michele included in the pdf she attached in her 7/30 post. I see that energy a lot coming from the heavens and feel spirit guides sending it through me to anyone I'm talking to or teaching. It guides me and even speaks through me. It makes me feel happy and full, like there is nothing more I need in this world when I'm channeling that energy.
@michele-b-here-in-the-forum: I loved that image you posted. It fits something I see often when I'm reaching for light and connection both from above and from the earth.
I think we all have been going through Vestralux's dark night of the collective soul.
The Mueller disappointment was hard for me and I had to do a fair amount of self care to get through it, but at least I was warned by Bluebelle and my dreams.
I'd also seen Mueller would be hurt back in December when I was making that YouTube of 2019 Predictions. I started talking about Mueller and suddenly got that there would be interference. I stated it as it came to me on camera. Then I also got that the information was nevertheless going to be in the report, and guess what, it IS in the report. There is enough there to indict and convict DT.
But Barr bars it. Barr bars anyone from pursuing the truth that would hurt his president. His indignation and shock regarding Epstein's death also was fake.
When I saw Mueller testify, I felt that Barr had directly interfered with him. So Barr lied about that. He doesn't think of himself as a liar. To him, his positions and statements are a matter of ideology, but there is no ideology in lying and covering up the truth. As soon as he became the A.G., the investigation was curtailed.
I also noticed that Mueller looked diminished during the hearings. This may have been caused partly by health problems which may have been brought on by energetic interference. Or it may just be the stress that got to him. I feel he was told that his family would suffer - children and grandchildren if he didn't do what he was told. I doubt anyone threatened him directly, only indirectly, but I felt fear coming from him during the hearings.
I could go into more detail about it, but I find it draining to think about.
I felt that fear coming from him too, Jeanne, and I agree. It's awful, and yes, too draining to think about. Still, I feel compelled to restate my absolute faith that the integrity of his work will prevail in the end. I don't know how long it will take, but I sense it'll be exactly as long as necessary.
I also feel the Mueller Report will be used to bring out the truth and hold the guilty to account.
Trying to catch up on all this stuff too!
to answer your question- yep! In another thread i wrote about how she has spirits come to her all the time when she sleeps, they are attracted to her. Not sure about my mom or her sister... but I’m sure theres something there!!
weirdly enough- the voice i heard absolutely was coming from behind the right side of my ear. 100%!! Thats so cool!
I also have experienced since I was little waking up from someone shouting my name- its super alarming, but I thought everyone had that happen to them often! Lol. I wakeup out of a dead sleep and I'm wide awake and alert when that happens. I don't know if I was ever paying attention to much when that happened enough to notice if I received anything or any kind of message. It always felt like someone wanted me to pay attention to something though, like warning me, or drawing my attention to something. Also often during a pretty intense dream as well... This is great info, I’m really glad you mentioned this. Just to add- as I’m thinking back on these times, Im remembering that often this voice sounds like my mother’s. Not necessarily exactly like hers, but it feels like a mother, or someone related to her or motherly in some way. I get a mom vibe.
After reading your story about the mall- holy crap! I just got major goosebumps. I love that story, and I’m very happy you're safe and made it out alive. Wow. That is absolutely stunning.
It's very cool how some of these things are quite similar. I know a lot of other people who share them too. So interesting. And I love that the voice you hear sounds somehow maternal—that's lovely.
In my family, it's pretty standard to have spirits visiting at all hours. My posts above were already super long so I didn't mention that sometimes when a spirit is particularly telepathic (and has been passed over long enough to acquire the skill) they can project a voice. I keep myself shielded all the time unless I want to be open, so I don't have to worry about the source of any voice I might hear (I know it's always a trusted guide, loved one, or some aspect of my higher self). I find if you set a strong and clear intention, and maintain vibrational hygiene, you'll always know.
I had another experience similar to the mall one. About 17 years ago, I was traveling with a girlfriend and we were getting settled into our hotel room late at night. We'd just set our bags down and she decided to head to the ice machine. One of us flipped that secondary security latch on the door so she could easily get right back in without needing her key.
Not even a few seconds after she'd walked out I heard the door open again, but when I turned to see why she was back so fast, I was met by a very large stranger—at least 6'5", 300+ lbs. He was standing directly behind me, again, just inches away. I remember being completely frozen, but even if I'd been able to move, he was blocking my way.
It really seemed like only seconds had passed since my girlfriend had walked out that door, but it instantly burst open again and she ran into the room shouting something like, "What are you doing here?!! GET OUT! GET OUT OF HERE!!!" That guy could have easily subdued us both with one hand, but her entrance startled him enough that he just ran out.
Later, she told me that she'd been all the way down the (long) hall and around the corner when she thought she heard me yell for her. But I hadn't been able to blink, much less speak, so if she heard a voice, it wasn't mine.
Oh my gosh!! That is insane, and so scary! it really makes you feel grateful for all those guiding us, me at least. and thank god for your friend hearing your name as well! Im sure that shook her.
the only story i can think of is actually about my boyfriends mom. She often talks about how her dead family members/ relatives come visit her in her dreams, and I’m not sure she makes much of it, she is very blue collar, catholic type who I would imagine wouldn't be into all that, but who knows.
my boyfriend was in mexico with a group of friends vacationing and late at night they had been drinking and messing around. One of his friends challenged him to “arm wrestling” (yeesh- boys, come on, i know) and his upper arm totally snapped. Broken. I’ll save the details from there, but lets just say it required major surgery. He had to be life-flighted to san diego but had no way to contact anyone besides his friends on the trip who knew. He told me once he got to san diego and was able to get in contact with his parents, he was surprised because his mom had already been awake. It was maybe 4 or 5 in the morning at this point. She told him that a few hours prior she woke up up from a dead sleep in a state of sheer panic, and just *knew* something was wrong with her son. She had had a dream that he was crying and shouting her name saying “mom help!” , and she was waiting for a phone call from him. She knew hours before anyone knew, actually. And immediately woke up her husband and said “something happened in mexico, i think he’s hurt.”
He was totally weirded out when he told his mom what had happened and his mom was like “oh, i know”
I believe my twin and I have also had some things like this. Sometimes in the past if one of us was going through a difficult period in life, or undergoing something very emotionally stressful, without the other one even knowing much about it, one of us will hear that twin calling out for us in our sleep. I never knew if it was connected to just projective personal dreams about this or something more telepathic, but as twins we definitely do share that connection. One of us could never cry without the other one inexplicably crying too. My mom always said It was like a bargain deal- if one of us got hurt, she had two crying children. I wouldn't stop until I saw she was okay. That might be relatively normal for twins though.
I think its really special that you have this protective voice/ guides looking out for you. For me, i always get strong feelings- the emotional reaction of “oh.. no way... not walking down *that* specific way home today” but I’m not sure if its been very vocal. I’d have to think about that one for a while.
I suppose I’d have to be more tuned into it. I suspect theres a lot more I can develop as far as this type of skill that perhaps I was not totally open to previously.
I feel like anyone with chronic health conditions is closer to Source and will therefore be more receptive to psychic phenomena. I say that as someone who was born with a genetic condition (not autoimmune) whose symptoms have been manifesting in my life in various ways for as long as I can remember. I'm the only one in my family with the condition, and I also happen to be the most spiritually and psychically inclined compared to my parents and siblings. So perhaps simply dealing with recurring health issues opens us to more realms of possibility in the universe.
On the topic of autoimmunity, the industrial world really is experiencing an epidemic of autoimmune disorders that, as recently as 30 years ago, were exceedingly rare. Several books have been written on the topic, but most explanations focus on the abundance of chemical toxins in our ambient environment and food supply (and yes, that includes a surfeit of sugar). So perhaps an emergent solution to the current state of society will involve a critical mass of autoimmune afflicted individuals waking up to their psychic capabilities and knowledge, putting their feet down, and declaring "No more!"
I always feel like I don’t belong on this planet. And as someone who should be more optimistic and joyful for others, I find myself really crotchety in my old age.
I don’t like this very heavy Earth. Although I do like Chipotle
@sagetarotpisces, I've yet to hear a distinct voice in my ear. But I do sometimes hear a shout behind me, either right before I nod off, or it might startle me awake. I think it's a voice, but I can't decipher any particular word/s.
@vestralux -- yikes! Your stories had my heart pounding. Wonderful protective guides you have around you. We all have them -- we just need to learn how they communicate with us. I'm still learning.
For me, that communication usually comes in the way of a feeling, i.e., don't do this, do that. Or a thought will pop into my head, which I know isn't mine.
Along those lines, I have one crazy story to share. About 20 years ago I was working in DC, and on my walk to the subway to go home, I came upon a shoe store that was having a sale. I couldn't pass that up, so I went inside. The store was long and narrow, with two rows of seats running back-to-back, down the middle of the store. I sat next to another customer, with our backs towards the checkout counter. A man was trying on shoes, his back facing us. As this woman and I proceeded to try on shoes, I began feeling nervous -- panicky, even. I thought I was anxious because I was about to overspend (I was in my compulsive shopping days back then). I thought that I might hyperventilate, so I started chatting with the female customer sitting next to me. That awful feeling I had intensified, and suddenly this voice in my head commanded, "do NOT look behind you." I suddenly thought of the story in Genesis about Lot's wife and how she turned into a pillar of salt after she looked back at Sodom. (Don't you love how they often targeted women in some of these bible stories?) I almost laughed, had I not been dealing with such ongoing anxiety. Another few minutes passed, at which point one of the two sales associate blurted out, "we were just robbed!" Apparently as I was trying on shoes, the one male customer sitting behind us had tried on shoes, gone to the checkout counter to ostensibly pay for them, but instead pulled out a gun on the sales associate, robbed the register, and left with the money and two pairs of new shoes.
If I had turned and witnessed what was going on, would we all have been hurt? Clearly the robber would want to keep things quiet and get out as quickly as possible. I have no way of knowing what may have occurred, but I received a clear message from my spirit guide.
Funny ending to the story: the police came, locked the front door, dusted for fingerprints, put yellow police tape over the interior front window and door, and interviewed each of us. At one point as we were standing with the police officers, I looked up towards the front of the store and witnessed two women outside trying to open the locked door, then press their faces against against the yellow-taped window, motion to the locked door and mouth, "A-R-E Y-O-U O-P-E-N-E-D?"
And yes -- I did end up purchasing a pair of shoes. Old, addictive habits die hard.
I wish I got voices. I just get feelings. Like today, I feel so run down, like I feel feverish without the fever and I keep thinking either I’m getting sick or something will happen soon. One of those days where I feel completely insane. And since Trump is continuing to lose his mind by calling the Denmark PM a nasty woman, I’m gonna go get pizza.
@pacosurfer, oh God ... I hadn't heard his recent nasty woman comment. You're not going insane -- HE is. I'm sorry you're feeling crappy. I've had that happen too -- not sure whether it's physical, or something else. Sometimes it's a waiting game. Take care of yourself the best way you can.
Very cool about your boyfriend and his mom! (Except for the part about him breaking his arm obv). Just goes to show how innate and evolutionary what we call our psychic connections really are. My daughter, who's 22, and I are incredibly close (we pretty much grew up together) and I'm surpassingly grateful that I've never been woken up by a sense of certainty that she was in trouble—my heart aches just imagining it. But I do have several experiences where I suddenly knew when something was happening with my mother. And just one with my dad. The night he died, I was hundreds of miles away but sat bolt upright in bed at 3:19 am and knew he was gone. That was his recorded time of death.
Twins are something very special indeed. If we're all entangled at the quantum level with every other human, living and dead, and more so with with close friends and loved ones, there can be no deeper entanglement than two people who shared a womb. (Amplify that exponentially when they share the same DNA sequence.) I bet you and your sister could even further develop your connection in profound ways.
Also, it sounds like you could be similar to my daughter, J, who's clairsentient. Where I tend to see and know, she feels. And boy does she ever—not just at the emotional level, but physically. For ex, a year ago next month, J's friend and coworker passed away very suddenly under suspicious circumstances. About a week later, I suddenly knew J was about to come in the front door and ask me to help her communicate with her friend. Her spirit had practically been clinging to J the entire week, and she'd finally found a way to make her presence known to my daughter, who was upset over her death and afraid of what was happening.
Until that day, J had been too afraid of her gift and mine to ever want to discuss it. I was forbidden from even mentioning spirits most of the time. But when J came home, she had tears in her eyes and I knew she was ready. We spent the next 8+ HOURS communicating with her friend (never had an experience like it). My daughter would ask questions and I could "hear" her friend's answers in my head—again, to the right side and a little back. Or she might even show me an image. I was just their translator, but even before I had a chance to convey whatever I was picking up, my daughter would physically express the emotion her friend was showing me. Her friend was highly distraught over her death and still very confused about where she was. The whole time we spoke with her, she moved quickly between laughter, tears, anger, and back again. My daughter's body physically shook the entire time, and she sobbed and laughed and raged with her friend. It exhausted her but it also seemed cathartic and comforting. It might be impt to state that J is an almost overly chill person on the surface, so this kind of outward emotional display isn't just unusual, it's unheard of. But because she's an empath and a physical medium, she was feeling everything her friend was feeling in the most literal way.
[Once, when she was about 14, we were driving down a mountain highway, just chatting, when J suddenly threw herself over in the passenger seat, clutching her head and gasping in pain. Before I could react, I'd driven around a curve where a car had just been in a terrible accident. A woman was being pulled from that car by first responders. Her face was covered in blood and she did not appear conscious. The front end was crushed.]
Way more info than you probably needed, but maybe some of it will jog something loose for you in your own experience. 🌼
"So perhaps simply dealing with recurring health issues opens us to more realms of possibility in the universe."
I absolutely agree.
...Though, maybe there's a chicken/egg question to consider. Maybe because we're open, we take more in, absorbing more of the vibrational disharmonies in the field, whether in the form of pesticides and other toxins, GMOs, climate chaos, social conflict, historical trauma, etc. Either way, it's like you said, when enough of us are afflicted (by the exponential increase in autoimmune conditions or anything else), we might finally act in a collective way. 👍
@deetoo OMG! That was insane! I'm so glad you obeyed that internal voice (and that you weren't turned into a pillar of salt). Who can know the answer to those 'what if' questions, but I have to think that if we're fortunate enough to receive some unexplained guidance in a moment of danger, it's because whatever is offering it knows something our conscious minds don't.
I also have to think that the man who did that robbery might have been feeling an incredible level of anxiety and adrenaline as he sat there amping himself up. It's interesting to consider whether you might have been absorbing his energy, or were simply reacting to it. So interesting.
I laughed at the image of those women at the end of your story, but yeesh! Anyone willing to cross police tape to get a little retail therapy in probably had a bigger shopping habit than you did. 😉
@pacosurfer Your feelings about not wanting to be here are normal, although I'm sorry it's so hard. I think many of us have felt the way you do, in varying degrees at one time or another, and some a lot of the time. The poet Rumi wrote: My soul is from elsewhere. I am sure of that. And I intend to end up there.
@vestralux, I'm very moved by the relationship you have with your daughter. It's wonderful how you can be there for J, and she for you. What an amazing gift.
About my robbery story: I believe you’re right when you suggest that perhaps I was absorbing his energy, or simply reacting to it. I hadn’t even considered that. Something I failed to mention: when I first entered the store, I stood next to the robber as we both looked at shoes. I even turned my head and looked at him, which back then was out of character for me. But at that moment I hadn’t felt any particular discomfort; I just remember noting how well he was dressed. Then out of curiosity I focused on the shoes he was selecting. He had excellent fashion sense. Isn’t it crazy that I remembered that from 20 years ago? I can’t remember what I did 5 minutes ago. Anyway, I was able to give the police a general description. Then I got on a crowded subway train, as if everything were normal. Bizarre.
I agree with you and Coyote about the autoimmune and recurring health issues. It really is a chicken/egg question. In my case, I am aware that I've always been a sponge to my environment. So even if my empathic sensitivities had not created my health conditions, I believe they certainly exacerbated them. Perhaps it is a combination of nature and nurture? Hard to say. What I will say is that my purpose in this lifetime makes more sense to me now. I don’t belong to this planet, but I belong on it. I know that I was created for these times. That’s true for all of us.
@deetoo Beautifully said, and I so agree.
It is bizarre the amount of detail we can hold onto! And yes, surreal how we step out of those moments and right back into the mundane world.
Significant traumas, especially very early in life, can create significant distortions (in memory, identity, relation, etc.), but there's ample research which shows that, because we become hyper-focused during dangerous or close-call experiences, the brain and body tends to hold onto the most vivid details for the rest of our lives. This is also true of more traumatic experiences, so long as we have just enough resilience and an adequate "holding environment" (people caring for us) immediately after the fact.
@polarberry, This is a continuation of my response to you under “Situation Unraveling…” thread:
Thank you for giving me the courage to post some of my own feelings about where I fit in this wonderful community. It took a while for me to join this group, and even longer for me to post. I am a private person, leery of social media (no Facebook page), not much of a joiner, and rarely text. But this community has so much to offer and felt so welcoming, that I stepped outside of my head, went with my gut, and signed up. I am happy that I did.
I have often felt the way you described. I am in awe of the number of gifted people on this site, and sometimes question what contributions I am making. Occasionally I become distracted by the number of psychic hits and feel intimidated. At that moment I often say to myself " what do you have to offer here?" Sometimes I even feel like an imposter. But in my case, when that occurs, I realize it's my ego talking. I want gifts that I either don't have, or have yet to develop. More importantly, I don't fully appreciate the gifts that I already possess. In the past I’ve had two psychics tell me that I am psychic. Who knows? I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like.
I’ve always been highly sensitive and now call myself an empath. I often sense and feel things. It sounds like you may sense and feel things the way I do. In fact, I’m too much of a sponge to my environment. Sometimes a random thought enters my head, seemingly out of nowhere, which I know is true. On rare occasions, a dream. But I rarely "see" things, and I've gotten very hung up on that. The few times I’ve had visions are when I’m totally relaxed, or busy doing other things. I've participated in a couple of Read for the Future nights, but I put too much pressure on myself and blank out. Or, I believe that I’m making stuff up. Performance anxiety with an audience of one – me. There’s that ego again!
I’m still a newbie with all of this. And to tell you the truth, it scares me a little bit. I have this sense that if I really let go (I’m a bit of a control freak), I won’t be able to turn it off, even if I want to.
I agree with @unk-p, @lovendures, @yogagirl, @lawrence, @jeanne-mayell -- everything they’ve shared in their thoughtful responses to your post. This is a day-to-day (even moment-to-moment) process. We’re all a work in progress! And as lovendures stated, we all have unique gifts.
I’ve learned so much about myself since I’ve joined this community. I’m much more in touch with my spirit guides and angels, and I’ve become more comfortable with their presence. In fact, in my mind’s eye, I can feel one of them shaking her head and saying, “finally!” Ultimately, I want to make this world a better place. That sounds kind of sappy, but it’s true – even if I make a small difference in one person’s life, that gives my life meaning.
So, despite all of my self-doubt and long learning curve, when I discovered this community, I felt that I was home. So it must be true! And it’s also true for you. As @yogagirl stated in her delightfully funny way, “we’re all in this mess together.”