i actually read your postscript before I saw your earlier posts about your struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts. Oh my. I wept for you and your suffering. I’m so sorry for what you’ve endured all the while knowing that this was an essential part of your soul journey and life transformation. Your parents must be so proud of you and so deeply grateful for your life.
Many years ago, one of my children was seriously injured in an accident. He suffered terribly, both physically and emotionally. It utterly broke our hearts to see him so broken and in so much pain. Yet in the depths of despair, we were grateful for his life, grateful that he was still here. We were all broken and never the same again afterwards. Each of us in our own way experienced growth in spirit. We learned endurance and perseverance, but most of all we grew in love and appreciation for life. We grew in compassion for people with physical disabilities.
So I think of your parents and know how grateful they are to still have you, how precious you are to your family and friends, how precious you are to us in this community. Much love to you, Coyote.
Bravo to you for sharing your story.
This is a phenomenal act of courage, of trust, and of willingness to do whatever it takes to live your life in your truth and faith in your deepest knowing of true self and souls purpose in allowing the process of this challenging journey into this incarnation and its manifestation and creation in this world and all worlds as one.
May we all be worthy of this trust and have the wisdom to be who we all know ourselves to truly be so we can join you in our own souls journey as we all connect with you and with each other and become seeming separate parts reuniting with the whole once again of all there ever was or truly ever will be.
Blessings to you dear, dear Coyote.
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Wow. Just wow. I truly read this all and for a few hours had no words. Thank you for sharing your very incredible, personal struggles and journey with all of us. I feel honored you did and that you trust us here. I know you are going to make a big difference in this world.
When reading your journey, my empathic self felt each moment with you. The way you wrote it enabled me to put myself in your shoes with each twist and turn. I could understand how you felt and what propelled you to the next "exit ramp" in the road you were on. Living in Connecticut, I knew some of the places you mentioned which helped me picture so much of your rides up to school, up north and back home. The way you felt after T was elected, I too felt so depressed and sad. I think I cried for a few days, even my cousin in Germany called me to cry with me about it.
I'm so glad you are here and that you have learned and healed so much. What you also say about not grouping people into sides makes so much sense. I think many of us try not to do so, but at times do so when we can't make sense of what is going on in today's social and political climate. You are already making a difference to so many, just here on this forum, but I suspect that's also true in your circle of friends, acquaintances, and family too.
My heart is full with the knowledge of the miracles you have mastered within your body and soul. I know you have many Angels proud and happy to give you even more guidance on the journey your beautiful soul will continue to take.
Big Hugs, love and light and continued blessings with your healing! ? ? ? ❤️
@Coyote, I am relatively new to the forum but am deeply moved by the honesty offered by everyone here. Thank you for your raw courage to share the dark nights of your soul with us. I never felt as deeply as you did but post the election I would inexplicably break down into tears for a month that a brave woman like Hillary would be dealt such a bad hand. What soul contract did she agree to before this incarnation? Thank you for pointing out that we still need to reconcile our own darkness within in order that our own Lights can be revealed.The more brightly our individual Lights glow, the more brightly will the collective consciousness shine. A million glowworms can light up even the darkest, deepest cave!
Thank you for such thoughtful reflections. I seem to remember you mentioning on a different thread that you have a son who was injured in an accident, and that he's now firmly turning the corner to a better period in his life. That is wonderful. Along with you and your other family members, I'm hoping he can integrate his past trials so that they enrich his present state.
It delights me that you were so mindful while reading. I thought about you while writing and wondered whether you'd be familiar with some of the locations in the story. As far as not grouping people goes, yes I do think everyone here is trying to be more mindful. But it's tough, because these mindsets are programmed into us by thousands of years of culture. The wetiko article I linked in the last installment captures this tension beautifully: "Let us dance with thought-forms through a deeper understanding of ethics, knowing, and being, and the intimate awareness that our individual minds and bodies are a part of the collective battleground for the soul of humanity, and indeed, life on this planet...The dissolution of wetiko will be as much about remembering as it will be about creation." The Shambhala Warrior prophecy has a similar message. It tells us that the line between good and evil runs through the heart of every human.
I had to share, because I sensed the process of writing it all down for this particular audience would bring to my awareness thoughts and lessons that I hadn't fully realized yet. And it did.
What did Hillary sign up for? I think she's supposed to learn that she didn't need to hide her authentic self, and that her soul can accomplish so much when she shows it in its full luminosity to the people around her. Vera de Chalambert writes about this:
"Stripped of her hopes and lifelong dreams, speaking honestly and transparently about her pain, this woman in a dark suit was a far cry from the controlled, manicured version of her shiny political persona. Stripped of her agenda, stripped of her certainties, this Hilary might have won the country. This Hillary touched our hearts. This is what we look like after the Dark Mother has had her way with us.
"We stop shining of the false light. As our heart breaks, as our veneer cracks, we open to more integrity, more truth, more tenderness. We stop trying to be all things for all people. We become this one small thing, feigning nothing."
And I love your glowworm metaphor. @vestralux has written on the forum about how only a small subset of humanity, about 1%, needs to genuinely awaken in order to tip the planetary scales towards light.
I finally had the time to sit-down and read your journey without interruption.
In your most difficult moments Coyote, I am sure you never imagined being in a place where you could envision yourself writing about this part of your life-story and sharing it with others.
Look at the beautiful radiant light you are walking in now! For someone who once avoided people and conversations, you sure have inspired us all with your thoughtful posts and observations. Now your written reflections on how you emerged from a cold dark tunnel to the warmth of daylight can bring hope to people you haven't even met.
Thank you for your bravery and honesty.
It will make a difference in peoples' lives. It has already made a difference in yours.
@coyote I so appreciate the extra insights! Ah, the Dark Mother, she definitely puts us through the wringer but then, that’s because we’re being called to step up, to tilt the balance, as you are doing. Marianne Williamson said “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
We are all turning into glow worms.?