Space Science Update: Uranus emits 250,000 mile gas plume. Astronomers are trying to determine if Jupiter said "Pull my finger" prior to the emmission. Saturn has issued a press release entitled "Planet who smelt it dealt it." Asked for its response, Pluto said "No comment."
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https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/27/science/uranus-bubble-voyager.html
Some shallots, leeks and scallions walk into a restaurant and sit down at a table. They order drinks, and before long they are becoming boisterous, singing and dancing and telling jokes. The waiter comes over to the table and asks if they can keep it down because they are starting to disturb the other diners.
The biggest shallot looks at him and says, "It's ok. We're Funyuns."
Great thread!
Sharing this 2018 SNL skit, which always gives me a laugh when I need it: Undercover Office Potty
A man wants to buy his mother a special present for her 80th birthday, so he goes shopping. He shops for a couple hours, but he still can't find the right gift. He sees a pet shop and decides to take a break and go look inside.
The store manager asks if he needs help, and the man tells him he's been looking for the right present for his mother's birthday.
"How about a bird?" the manager asks. "This parrot is on sale. We've never been able to train him to talk, but he's calm and attractive to look at. He'd be a nice companion for her, too."
The man agrees that the parrot would be a fine gift for his mother, and asks the manager to have him delivered as a surprise.
A couple days go by, and he calls his mother, and asks how she likes her gift.
She says, "He's wonderful! There were no instructions, though, so I just set the oven to 350."
there is this fun new game where you wreck a popular musical, by changing a letter in it's title.  Like, Hair could become Nair
or instead of Oliver!, it could just be Liver!
how bout Singing in the Drain
Anyone want to try?