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(@ghandigirl)
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Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 1001
 

@laura-f

I am sorry for your depression. It is so hard these days to remain hopeful. I am sending you love in a prayer for your heart to feel better, for your hope to return. I am sending you a great healing light to uplift and renew you. 

We have all incarnated here at this exact time to bear witness. It is an honor and a challenge. Intense and terribly upsetting.  Yet here we are. 

I wish I had some magic words to give everyone here, to buoy them up. All I can give is my love and my deep inner feeling that this will not be our end. We will rebuild. Still watching our country burn literally and figuratively is hard, hard, hard. Waiting for the phoenix to rise is hard too. But rise it must. I think it will, I still believe.

As empaths and light workers we feel things and people to an astonishingly real degree. Taking time for self care, and to watch dumb funny stuff and laugh, can be very helpful with Depression.  We carry the weight of the world with us, but we can try to put it down sometimes. Like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof said, "If I try to bend that far, I will break." He said it in a different context, but it is still true. We stagger under the weight. It can bend us, it might break us. We may feel broken, but we can help each other to feel whole again. 

That's what sharing things on this forum does for me. It helps me put that weight down. 

 

 

 

 

 


   
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(@laura-f)
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Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 2137
 

@nelysthealchemist @deetoo @jeanne-mayell @febbby23 @share @bluebelle @coyote @ghandigirl & everyone:

Thank you.

I made one of my favorite comfort foods for dinner: Shrimp fra Diavolo (Shrimp "ala the Devil"), which kinda sums up my feelings about the world right now and tastes good. Nice cold glass of Frascati with it and dinner outside in the warm evening breeze. All helped. (Pic attached)

I'm still a "woman on the edge", so I will gratefully accept all the peace and light you all care to send now and/or on Wednesday. I'm looking into some online therapy through a service our insurance provides, however I've done a lot of therapy in the past, and I'm one of millions feeling this way right now, so I'm not sure what a therapist who doesn't know me or my past would have to offer. And I get too many side effects from anti-depressants, so I avoid them. Cannabis, on the other hand...

So many of us "sensitives" struggle with mood disorders...

Bluebelle - I saw that video on FB this morning, that little girl is my new spirit animal - "Why do they go near people? Not everyone likes germs cuz we get sick." I do hope you are also feeling better. It was one of my spirit guides who warned me of "millions dying a painful death" a few years ago, and he also said there was nothing to be done for it. And he we are.

❤️ ? ? 

Namasté

1594612577-IMG_20200712_183811528.jpg

   
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(@suspira44)
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Joined: 5 years ago
Posts: 363
 
Posted by: @coyote

@laura-f

I'm often tempted to offer counterpoints to dread at the state of the world by drawing attention to the "big picture" and the transformational potential. But then I have to remind myself that there's a significant age gap between me and many members on this forum. So I don't really know how taxing and anxiety-inducing it can be to feel like I may not live long enough to see the other side of these years of churning, let alone survive CV19.

So the only way I can appropriately respond, Laura, is to send light your way. Be kind to yourself, and let us know how you're doing.

That's my problem in a nutshell. The idea of going toward the end of your life and thinking this is how it's going to be, and you won't live to see anything changed, is horrible.

I'm on the edge like many, wondering when I will be able to see friends and family or IF I will be able to see them again, as I've lost two cousins and a friend in as many months. I told you all about Taryn - her cousin wanted to go to her memorial service in Wisconsin (she's in Palm Springs) and couldn't because there's a two week quarantine. It's so sad - you can't see them, you can't say goodbye - I don't know.

It struck me last night - I read something about Mueller on yahoo - of course like a fool I looked at the comments - all venom, calling him a crook, a felon, a this, a that, stupid etc.

It occurred to me that often, people who do the right thing are punished, and it's always people like Roger Stone who get off free. Mueller blew it because he stuck to his assignment and went no further. He could have done this, that, and the other thing, but he didn't. Those ethics don't work when everyone else is breaking the law. Whether anyone agrees with me or not, he blew a big chance - and again, we pay the price. And we still don't have the complete unredacted transcript.

I don't know what it will take anymore - you'd think this Russian bounty business never happened.  It's huge. For three-plus years, every time he does something egregious you think, well, now he's done it. And yet nothing happens. Someone said last night that she read a book about what went on in concentration camps - really went on - and she said, if you read it, you would lose complete and total faith in humanity. I don't need to read it. To think we put these people in power and all they want to do is drive over us with a steam shovel. It's appalling.


   
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(@laura-f)
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Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 2137
 
Posted by: @suspira44

It occurred to me that often, people who do the right thing are punished, and it's always people like Roger Stone who get off free. Mueller blew it because he stuck to his assignment and went no further. He could have done this, that, and the other thing, but he didn't. Those ethics don't work when everyone else is breaking the law. Whether anyone agrees with me or not, he blew a big chance - and again, we pay the price. And we still don't have the complete unredacted transcript.

I don't know what it will take anymore - you'd think this Russian bounty business never happened.  It's huge. For three-plus years, every time he does something egregious you think, well, now he's done it. And yet nothing happens. Someone said last night that she read a book about what went on in concentration camps - really went on - and she said, if you read it, you would lose complete and total faith in humanity. I don't need to read it. To think we put these people in power and all they want to do is drive over us with a steam shovel. It's appalling.

Yes, I agree. As I've been saying, the "heroes" we keep counting on keep showing up to the gunfight with their NPR totebags. I'm not suggesting anyone break the law (2 wrongs don't make 1 right), but I am a believer in pushing the envelope, thinking outside the box, and a couple of other clichés I can't remember right now. Ignoring bullies and abiding by rules to try to get rid of the bullies doesn't work. Unfortunately it takes getting down to their level to stand up to them completely, and sometimes you have to literally punch them in the nose.


   
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(@moonbeam)
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Joined: 4 years ago
Posts: 479
 

@Laura F, having been there (depression) I feel your pain. I know it feels like you're in a hole you cannot get out of. With your back to the wall in a life that doesn't offer what you hoped.  I know "it will get better" sounds contrite and nothing much others say will help. It only will make you angry and more depressed.

 

However, what I can say is this. Try to picture something that gives hope. A goal you could go for that could give you untold pleasure/happiness once again. It took me selling my house, quitting my job and  moving far away to start anew to regain grip on my life. Sometimes things have to be drastic (it is never too late), but sometimes it can be a small thing you can do to tip the scales. Your soul already knows. Just follow the pinpricks and don't let fear and anger dictate it.

 

The situation in the US doesn't help, I know. Being an empath makes it even worse, but please don't give up. You 'only' (tall order) have to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I know you can do it. I've seen you post so many things on this forum that show a strong character and conviction. You can do this. Sending lots of strength to you, tough girl. I missed if your cat passed, but if it did she/he will be watching from the rainbow bridge. Missing a ball of fur to hug isn't easy.

 

Hugs and love. ❤️ 


   
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(@lovendures)
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Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 4477
 

@laura-f

Laura, as you read these beautiful words filled with light from people who care about you,  you will know that you are loved.  You will feel their love.  Knowing you are loved is a gift.   A blessing.  You are loved completely with no expectations from us.  I hope that love can help be a balm for you during this difficult time.

This has been a really rough few weeks.  I am truly feeling it and so is my family.   It isn't just a "you thing" Laura.  It is heavy right now.  For some it is the length of time away from people and the need for healthy human interaction.  For others it is the constant fear which never fully subsides.  For some, it is the fear of the future which is rearing its ugly head (will, I have a job, will I get sick, what will school look like, what will fall look like, what if Biden doesn't win, what about the environment, will our nation gain its respect back?)  

I am so sorry you have been going through this emotional roller coaster and wish you much happier and peaceful days ahead. And lots of love and kindness.

 


   
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(@lowtide)
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Joined: 4 years ago
Posts: 576
 

Hi Laura,

I don’t know if this picture will come through, but it is a field of sunflowers just for you. I wish there were a way to take the anxiety and feeling down and fear away. I hope you will walk through it and be on the other side of it soon. Live to fight another day. Anyone who can put together such a beautiful meal as that Shrimp fra Diavolo has a lot of creativity and inner resources. ? Be at peace. You are loved.


   
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(@deetoo)
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Joined: 5 years ago
Posts: 2128
 

@laura-f,

Unbelievable Shrimp fra Diavlo!  When are you coming here to cook for me?  Pleeezzzz .......?  ? ❤️ ? 

 

 

 


   
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(@febbby23)
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Joined: 4 years ago
Posts: 442
 

@laura-f your dinner pic looks beautiful , tasty and restoring.  Hope it helped soothe in some way.  I’m sending you live, peace and prayers.  As we all rise and fall in our emotions I like to think of us all, linking arms and keeping each other afloat.   Our love , care and light will be our vessel.   Have a blessed day. You are loved, vital and a light to us all. ❤️☮️


   
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(@triciact)
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Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 1222
 

@laura-f

I'm sorry that I am just now able to read and respond to your post about your depression feelings. I have never had clinical depression, however when I started to work from home full time, just over 6 years ago, I thought it was the best thing ever (still do) but at the same time my husband (who is a real estate agent) was living the "retirement life" I thought I would be someday (he's also 6 yrs younger). Long story short, I started to see how he could come and go as he pleased and I no longer had the same social interaction from people at work.  I think I slowly started to be resentful and a bit depressed. I work for a high level exec at a very large company and my time is not my own. I've gotten better about it now....

Fast forward to 2020 now and Covid19. When we had to stay home I was already used to it. My husband's business became non existent for a long time. He did all the grocery shopping and he started having anxiety about getting the virus and nightmares about it too. I do thank the Universe that we live in the country/ in the woods though. I know you've talked about wanting to move up North, and I think it's a great idea. Near the Canadian border I believe.

This whole virus situation is something none of us have ever had to deal with in our lifetime. You live in a very nice area, one my husband loves, but with this virus situation it's scary. No way to deny that. I do believe that you and your husband will work out his travel situation and that Twitler will be gone. I know you don't see this but I do and I want you to know that I'm sending you lots of love and light as I write this. I know you are hurting and feel trapped - one of my pet peeves too.

I picture us in a lovely countryside, holding each other and enveloping the love and light all around us. I picture the angels and the light workers all holding each other with so much light and love it makes you woozy.  My heart is with you and, by the way I adore your food posting! Thank you (looked so lovely - you are so talented and creative!). ? ❤️ ? ? ? ? 

 


   
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(@triciact)
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@laura-f

One of my favorite dishes is Shrimp fra diavolo! I also like it with scallops (I sear them first) too. thank you! yum ? ❤️ 


   
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(@journeywithme2)
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Joined: 4 years ago
Posts: 1959
 

@laura-f and all here....  I find myself swinging wildly between Hope and Resignation..... Grief and Celebration.... Acceptance and Fighting .... Despair and Faith ... Light...and ... Dark. I think we all are...Big hugs and much love to all and know that.. when I am charged up? I send all here Light and Love.. and when I am drained? I hide to recoup and recover. It's such a hard line to walk sometimes.. knowing where we go when we leave here....knowing we still have much to do here.... because.. we are still here at this time... I live alone with my critters and go days and days and days seeing no one... talking only via text or phone calls to my humans (and daily to my critters LOL) ...and .... fluctuate between being thankful for that... and ...feeling so isolated. Knowing that school is going to open here a month from today (Aug 13th) and seeing so many here going on vacations to Florida and other states...not taking proper precautions consistently... I know that many here are going to sicken and spread the Covid-19 and be totally surprised about it and learn how serious it is. My heart aches for the teachers and the children.... and I feel guilty for being thankful that mine are grown and not having that worry in my life at this point. I feel guilty that ..even as my finances are squeaky tight... my social security enables me to continue to shelter in place... and I have my two grown children to help me if needed. I have a vision of this group... we are all swimming in deep water ocean... some of us with life vests...some of us just swimming..some of us with life rafts... but.... we are all linking our hands and  paddling like hell ....keeping our heads above water and lifting each other up and helping each along..so that none of us... sink and drown...when one tires.. another takes over and the tired ones... rest and recover to take their place swimming and supporting as we go. I am thankful and grateful... and.. I am tired and angry.... all I can say really  is.... tie a knot in the rope and hang on! It will all be ok in the end....if it isn't ok? it isn't the end. Love you all.


   
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 CC21
(@cc21)
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Posted by: @journeywithme2
I have a vision of this group... we are all swimming in deep water ocean... some of us with life vests...some of us just swimming..some of us with life rafts... but.... we are all linking our hands and  paddling like hell ....keeping our heads above water and lifting each other up and helping each along..so that none of us... sink and drown...when one tires.. another takes over and the tired ones... rest and recover to take their place swimming and supporting as we go. I am thankful and grateful... and.. I am tired and angry.... all I can say really  is.... tie a knot in the rope and hang on! It will all be ok in the end....if it isn't ok? it isn't the end. Love you all.

This part brought tears to my eyes. This is exactly how it all feels and I so love your vision of our group holding each other up, linked together, switching it up between resting and supporting. Love to you, too, and all of us! We are in this together and will get through it together!


   
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(@jewels-2)
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Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 157
 

Everyone's loving messages are so uplifting, and I hope Laura, deetoo and others fighting depression are uplifted by them. Melancholy is trying to infect me lately. My favorite medicine in to get outside in the garden (sunshine) and lots of comedy. Hearing/seeing others laugh, and laughing myself, helps jar the "sadness cancer" loose.

Yesterday I read my grandfather's World War 1 diary. (He was in Argonne and other terrible places.) Toward the book's end were comments that resonate now. He describes the moment soldiers learned the war was over and his division was told to sleep while the locals prepared a meal for them: "One cannot explain the precious realization of calm. It was in truth the first dead calm the country had known in four long years. It was so unnatural for a time to feel the peaceful pervading quiet that it seemed we must have shifted to another planet." Then he described the soldiers' unique joy of seeing the Statue of Liberty again at last. "Your average American ... is not a judge. His emotions are never plumbed. He simply feels it to the middle depths. A man has to come back from hell to understand."
We haven't known battlefields, but we have been to hell. If we hang on, we will share their overwhelming joy soon. And it will be profound. I can hardly wait.


   
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(@febbby23)
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@journeywithme2 I love this so much - it's perfect, and exactly how I feel.  love you all


   
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(@lovendures)
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Joined: 6 years ago
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Please offer some prayers and healing to Ruth and Larry.  They are the parents of my friend Debbie and they both have Covid and are both in the hospital.  They recently celebrated their 55 wedding anniversary, apart as she was already in the hospital .  He was admitted just the other day and is declining.  She is improving a little.  Debbie is very concerned, of course.  

Thank you.


   
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(@journeywithme2)
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Posts: 1959
 

@lovendures

Saying prayers asking for Healing and Grace for Ruth,Larry and Debbie .Sending much Light,Love and Healing Energy

❤️

 


   
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(@michele-b)
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Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 2159
 

@lovendures

In a heartbeat! Inviting them into our circle of light and love. 55 years is a gift and a blessing but these beautiful souls deserve many more.

Heartbreaking times for so many now. May God's Devine Light Lift up their Spirit of Being One so they may feel the connection that still is and can never be broken.

May grace fill their beings with love, hope, and mercy today and everyday.

They are already on prayer lists and in so many hearts, may they know and feel this love and help them deal with fear and separation.

???


   
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(@michele-b)
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@ghandigirl

Beautifully expressed and heartfelt words from someone who truly knows, understands and reaches out with such love and heart.

Bless you ghandigirl and Laura you are so in my thoughts and in my heart. You can do this!!! 

 

 


   
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(@laura-f)
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Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 2137
 

Just popping in to say thank you, I do feel a bit better today energetically, so whatever everyone is doing is definitely working.

Thanks especially for all your kind and uplifting words. I know it's not all about Me, and I'm grateful for this safe space to vent and release when needed.

May the light you send me return to each of you a thousand fold.

Namasté

❤️ ? ❤️ ? ? ? ? ? 


   
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