If you need support, understanding, and love, let us know here.

@anita

I feel in my heart that she will be back . She just needs some time alone. Relationships are never simple. She isn't an easy soul, but neither are you . Neither am I, neither is my wife . I just have a blind hope that these struggles will make us better . I have faith in you Anita . 

@thebeastthank

you for that encouragement.....

Anita

@anita

HI Anita, yes it doesn't make any sense for your partner to hug the guy. I would have been very angry too and reacted the way you did.

What I sense from your partner is that she is actually (deep down) very afraid of this whole situation with the pandemic and there is a part of her that is dealing with this fear with anger. I don't sense this anger is directed at you or anyone in particular around you. I sense that she may be unaware of her being angry about the virus and what it's doing so she's breaking the rules etc. because that's her way of internally rebelling against the pandemic situation -  not at you but at the whole thing. 

She will return!  I will say a prayer & send light ? ❤️ for you both.

@Anita, I feel for you.  For what it is worth, I didn't feel your partner hugged the other person on purpose. Felt like an instinctive response without thinking. Many people do not realize how hazardous it could be to hug someone during this pandemic. There are other issues going on within you and between you I'm sure. 

@jeanne-mayell

Thank you. Yes, there are other issues. But nothing so large that can’t be worked out, I think. She’s still not talking to me. The loneliness is killing me.

Anita

I just had a friend who is a huge T supporter text me all kinds of nutty things just now that she feels about T being here from God and all that nutty stuff and she just made me so angry. She is also a psychic! It just made me rattled. I told her not to wish me "happy Easter" and talk about the Orange nightmare ever again.

While she was doing that I found out two friends of mine just died from the coronavirus. One was a chef who I have known for 25 years and another a co-worker. ? 

@triciact, I am so sorry to hear of your friends' passing.  This is such a challenging, fragile time, and our collective hearts are heavy with sadness.  Our pain can feel unbearable when the loss is a personal one.  I am sending prayers of support, comfort and peace to you and the loved ones of your departed friends.  May you all be held in the light.

About the friend who texted you -- have you ever had an opportunity to tell her not to bring up T with you?  You could also ignore the text, depending on how her words ultimately affect you.  I find texts can sometimes invade one's boundaries -- you begin reading something before immediately recognizing where it's headed.  Curious that your friend felt the need to communicate all of this to you -- perhaps to convince herself of what she claims to believe?   My gut sense is that she is afraid.

I have a friend who is a gifted psychic and T supporter (or at least she used to be).  She still believes in all kinds of crazy conspiracy theories.  Last year I told her not to ever mention T, Obama-bash, or bring up politics with me again.  Thus far she has been respectful, for which I am grateful.  She doesn't live here, which might also make it a bit easier for me.  We don't text -- only emails, and just light, funny things to share or prayer requests.  

I wish that I could give you a big, physical hug right now.  I hug you in spirit, my friend.  I hope that it comforts you.   

Lots of love.

 ❤️ ? ❤️  

@deetoo

YOU are such a dear heart! THANK YOU. I truly wish we could have that hug! Someday it's a wish of mine to be able to actually personally meet you. I feel such warmth from the folks here and you are someone I certainly feel a connection with Dee.

She texted me and I actually just came right out and said, "please don't talk about T to me anymore it will just piss me off because I think he's evil and criminally responsible for the deaths of many people due to his response of the virus, etc."  Well she wouldn't stop. I had to get firm. She said I was being mean by saying how I felt about it. That upset me more. I had just told her I had just found out about two friends of mine dying. You would think that would get her to back off? No. She dug her heels in and started saying how Dr. Fauci told the US we didn't have to worry about this virus back in January so it's his fault....and she talked about how Obama was the destroyer of the USA, etc. ....yadayada

I explained to her that back in the days of Hitler and his reign that family of mine in Germany, my grandparents, etc. hated Hitler but were not allowed to say that to most of their friends because they would defend him too. I told her that's how I feel about T. I equate him to the way they felt about Hitler.

I ended with the fact that I think of her often, love her, will send her lots of love and light, but can't handle this discussion ever again.

What is weird to me is this is the second person in my life who did this to me recently. My husband's cousin on my birthday did the same thing. So I'm starting to think that I am supposed to learn something here. The Universe may want me to change my thinking and how I respond. I must meditate on it and listen to what my guides are trying to tell me perhaps. 

Thank you again Dee! ? ? ?  ? 

@triciact

Well it seems like you are getting opportunities to set boundaries and good for you That's one take away. 

I am sorry for the loss of your friends. It feels like the Trump supporters are just on an island of Denial. Sadly, talking points won't protect them.

I feel FURIOUS that all these misguided people will likely perish. Nobody is looking out for them.  I don't agree with them on hardly anything but they are still my sisters and brothers.

I know for me I don't allow Pro Trump sentiment anywhere near me. It is definitely adding insult to injury. 

@triciact, One of the many things I love about you is how passionate you are with your core beliefs and values.  I believe what prompted your strong reaction to her text is the deep pain you were feeling from the sudden news of your friends' passing.  It was a visceral reaction.  Although the Mad King didn't cause this virus, and some people would have still passed away from it, he caused additional suffering and deaths because of his malignant narcissism, lies, denials and lack of empathy.  You were feeling raw and were suddenly greeted with her offensive nonsense.  So be gentle with yourself and give yourself a break.  

I remember you sharing about the exchange with your husband's cousin on your birthday.  I think part of the problem comes with taking the bait.  I speak from painful, personal experience. In my case my ego would take over.  Then I'd find myself in a -- dare I say -- pissing match with the other person.  And to make matters worse, the other person isn't rational.  And she might be defensive when she can't get what she wants.  Plus it's not worth expressing your views if the other person is talking AT you.  The bottom line is, she's part of The Cult.  So unless you can plan a deprogramming intervention -- I've had fantasies of that, by the way -- it's not worth your emotions, brain cells, or precious time.  You can pray for them, and send them your love, but loosen your grip, walk away and remain on your path.  

Anyway, I don't know if what I said resonates, but those are my thoughts.  As you give yourself some breathing room and meditate on it, I'm sure the answers will come.

I love you, gal!

@deetoo and @ghandigirl

Ghandigirl - yes I feel they are on that Island of Denial. Thank you for your kind words. I think of you often and whenever I wash my hands now I send a little light your way. And now I say it about everyone here. An extended family you all are!

Dee, what you said resonated completely. I was laughing at the part about the pissing contest. That is exactly what I was feeling and yes I was emotionally raw and angry about my friends dying and I do think the Orange nightmare caused more deaths than was necessary because of his delays and blame game.  The weird thing is this friend of mine is such a really good psychic. Very eerily accurate so many times and she was there for me when my dad was sick and when he died. She really has a wonderful heart. Which confuses me even more about being a T supporter! My brain is really trying to figure it out.

I was walking with my husband and I told him that I remembered one day a long time ago I was frantically trying to find my blue belt. I had had it on that week and yet I was ripping my closet apart and starting to panic trying to find it. He came over to me in his calm demeanor, tapped me on the shoulder and gently pushed the blue belt toward my nose! It was literally hanging right in front of my face!  LOL.  I told him that's how I feel about the T supporters. How is it they can not see what is right in front of them?

Love you guys!  HUGS ? 

@triciact

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friends, that's awful.

I'm even more sorry that your "friend" went so far over the line. Unfortunately, they are suffering from a form of mass delusion. Almost mass hypnosis.

The next time that happens, whether with this person or someone else, rather than try to engage them in dialogue, I'd just shut it down if I was you. Kind of like what @Deetoo suggests. Only I'm from NYC, so I would probably not be as kind. It's become clear over time that trying to dialogue with Trumplodytes, especially evangelical ones, doesn't make anyone budge on either side (proven by research, btw).  In general, religious extremism is long known for poisoning human relations, that's not going to change now.

Here is an example of what I would text in this situation:
"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts. It appears we have reached opposite sides of a chasm which at this point in time cannot be breached. I love you, however if you do not refrain from trying to engage me in discussions of this sort I will have to block your communications. We are all in the same boat, however you and I are no longer on the same page from a moral perspective. I wish you all the best, be safe and well. Goodbye."

Hang in there Tricia, I know CT is getting hit hard, an old college friend in Greenwich just lost his sweet 87 year old father in law to COVID.

Posted by: @triciact

...

What is weird to me is this is the second person in my life who did this to me recently. My husband's cousin on my birthday did the same thing. So I'm starting to think that I am supposed to learn something here. The Universe may want me to change my thinking and how I respond. I must meditate on it and listen to what my guides are trying to tell me perhaps. 

Thank you again Dee! ? ? ?  ? 

I definitely think you are on to something here. ? 

Btw, I am so sorry to hear about your friends. Sending virtual hugs. ❤️  

Posted by @laura-f:

Only I'm from NYC, so I would probably not be as kind. 

Laura, I just love you.  And Cuomo.

@laura-f

Thank you Laura! funny thing is I'm from NY originally too, southern Westchester county right near Greenwich! I started supporting the exec I do (at my company)  now 6 yrs ago and he's in N. Carolina - a real "southern gentleman". I had to "check my NY side" of myself a bit because he had me realize that part of me might not be appreciated while supporting such a southerner. He's a really nice man and he is happily not a GOP supporter. He teases me about the way I say "water" or "director" with my NY accent.

NY is going through the peak now and my heart goes out to everyone in the city especially. I also heard of two other co workers who have the virus but are thankfully ok.

I'm sorry about your friend's father in law. I think CT is at it's peak now and they told us not to even go to the grocery store or pharmacy for this week. So we stocked up on frozen food over a week ago to last us through Easter.

I think everyone will be affected, whether it's immediate or friends or even family. This is not something any of us have dealt with in our lifetime. We are all a bit on edge I think, so I'm thinking I've got to be stronger in one way, and perhaps more forgiving in another.

The one thing I can always count on is loving honesty from you and I love how direct you are. I truly appreciate that. ? 

@triciact @deetoo

I lived south of the Mason-Dixon line for 15 years (and have family in TN and OK). I was mostly trained out of my Bronx accent (AC-Ting!!!), but enough traces remained that people would peg me as Northeastern, but they couldn't nail down where unless they were also originally from metro NY. When I was working in health care, every year we'd have a performance review. Every year I'd get the same feedback: "The patients and their families love you, but your coworkers say that you are condescending and yell at them." I never yelled at anyone, never cursed at anyone, never called anyone a name. OK, I did (and still do) have a significant eyerolling problem, but I learned to put that in check as best I could. And I always talked fast, still do. The struggle is real. It was a relief to move to San Diego, where talking fast and eyerolling are celebrated in TWO languages.

So southern Westchester near Greenwich... Larchmont? Bronxville? New Rochelle? Mamaroneck? LOL - I still have family I don't talk to in Eastchester and we lived in Croton for a year in the 90s. I spent huge chunks of my life in Westchester County for work and leisure. And more family I'm just not in touch with from Shelton to New Haven.

So thank YOU for appreciating my kind bluntness ? 

Be safe, be well, hang in there.

@triciact

So saddened to hear of the loss of your friends :-(     I have been challenged during this time period to set and honor my boundaries. A best friend of over 30 years attacked me viciously on a Facebook post over Trump and when I refused to agree with her point of view ... she called me some pretty awful names... and...attacked my character.. in a public forum. She was very surprised when others called her out on it. I am Southern born and bred... a true native Atlantan! Women were raised to not be rude/outspoken in public..."God don't like ugly" "Bless your heart" It has taken me all of these 60 something years to finally speak my Truth, quietly and firmly and draw boundaries and limit interactions if boundaries are not respected. It still hurts my heart that someone I love could be so hurtful.. over the Orange Foolius !!!!!  Perhaps... speaking our Truth ... quietly, firmly and with love... is a healing as is the refusal to tolerate harmful interactions anymore. I pray for our world, our people in general and individuals by name each time I wash my hands. Sending you much Light and Love as a Healing Balm to apply to the wounds in your heart from these encounters. <3

@laura-f, that's a funny story.  I've noticed that sometimes when you're direct/forceful, some people think you're yelling or mean.  People used to tell me that New Yorkers were rude until I finally visited.  I used to frequently visit the city to see a friend.  Felt quite comfortable there.  I never experienced the people as rude -- just a lot of fast talkers! 

I have a significant eye-rolling problem too.  (Is it really a problem?)  My boss had to call me out on it.  And my husband frequently says "there's that [my last name] eyeroll!"  Sometimes an eye roll says everything you need to say.  

I am a slow talker and it drives my sister crazy.  I blame it on my brain fog.  Should we ever meet, you'll have to be patient with me.  ? 

I grew up in Baltimore City but never had a strong Bawlmer accent.  Not sure why.  I miss that city and its grittiness.  In my 20's I frequented a vintage shop that was owned and managed by Divine (if you're familiar with John Water's movies).  I remember going in there and proudly strutting out in this beautiful red and white, early 50's Lucille Ball-type dress and very high-heeled, open-toe shoes that were too small for my size 9 feet.  The dress had stitches that were dry-rotted and totally ripped out as I exited my car.  And I could barely walk in those shoes.  But it was all worth it.

Thank you for indulging me in my travels down memory lane.  It lifted my spirits.

@triciact

So difficult to find out about the loss of friends.  People who were part of your life, ones you cared about. 

Compound that with needing to shield yourself from vitriol spoken by another who who has chosen to follow people spewing lies and harm.  

I am sending you love and peace. As am doing this, I see a bee fling to you, with wings outstretched. It hovers by you and  then flies away. An offering of blessings and healing. Is it sending you a bit of sweetness perhaps? Bees are also team animals and community is very important in their lives.  Let us (your community) help lift you dear Tricia.  

May you feel love and kindness.

Posted by @ghandigirl:

So for me, my choice is to choose peace and joy. I thrive on looking to underline, and seek out the silver linings. And when life isn't fair and it reminds you of every single time it just wasn't fair and you had no control, and your old wounds feel fresh and stifling, remember then you are a precious soul and you are here for a reason.

Dearest ghandigirl, 

I had a hard time writing this post, because I couldn't decide which of your words I wanted to highlight.  Everything you wrote was so beautiful -- filled with so much courage, honesty, wisdom and hope.  Each time you post, you inspire me -- even those times when you're feeling really low, you show such raw courage through your vulnerability.  You help me to accept myself just as I am -- and by your example, to be more honest, vulnerable, courageous and joyful.  And you remind me -- over and over again -- that the choice is always mine. 

Thank you, my friend.  You are a beautiful light warrior.