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Dear sweet Luminata, thank you for sharing your anguish with us. We love you, dear friend. We surround you with care and feel how you feel. You have brought home this tragedy in a way I hadn't thought about before. When my kids were in high school, 8 children died by suicide in our town and the neighboring sister town to our town over a period of three years. They were my children's ages and I had interacted with some of them when they were growing up and knew their parents. When I think of how I can barely speak of those days without shaking, I understand well how you must feel, only your situation was more horrifying, and yes, you have PTSD. Take care, dear friend, and know we are with you.
I suffer from recurring sever chronic depression. That, along with on and off anxiety and fibromyalgia can sometimes make things difficult for me to handle, specially when it's not summer. I've had electroconvulsive therapy which meant electroshocks under general anaesthesia 49 times. Although it was above average, it was incredibly helpful. I take so much medication that we need two dispills to sort it all out. In November, it will be 10 years since I last worked.
I've had a LOT of psycho-therapy and cognitive therapy. But as a result of all the medical treatments, my concentration is non-existent and I began having myoclonus dystonia and dysnomia, specially when I am stressed. I consulted a neurologist who told me many of the side effect could be chronic but some may disappear with medication adjustment. I'm scared because every time we tried to adjust my meds over the years I ended up having ECTs. But I took this as a challenge and I have stopped 3 meds and dropped another by half (under medical supervision). Unfortunately, this is affecting the fibromyalgia and I was relapsing into deep depression. My GP has referred me to a company as a test subject for a fairly new med. Since it already is on the market there are no placebos involved.
So far, it seems to be helping, but sleeping is difficult. I am more functional than I was. But it seems the dysnomia and dystonia are there to stay, for now anyways.
With all the therapies I've had I've learned tools to help me cope that I've adapted to my own personal situation. I keep looking for more and you guys are helping me a great deal. I have a weird sense of humour (only I get my own jokes) and I know how to laugh at my "dysthopia" and myself with love.
But it's been more difficult of late with all he med changes and some of the pain. I am also preparing to move, I need to leave my apartment on June 30th but up to now, I was told I would not have access to my new apartment until July 1st. 😱 🙃 🤪
So if you have time, I could use a little bit of prayers and light if you have some to spare... Thank you
Bright Opal, I “liked” your post in a show of admiration & support of your strength. You clearly have been working hard. I am sending you light, love, and strength to help you find the solutions and support needed. I admire your humor in the face of these trying times. But yup, laughter lightens the load and helps to move things forward. Sending all positive energy your way! 😊
I am very sorry that you are facing such ongoing health challenges. I can relate to some of the same health issues, in varying degrees, that I’ve dealt with for the past 20+ years. I’ve hit a number of dead ends and have spent tons of money trying to get answers and the correct treatments. I hope you remind yourself of how strong and resilient you are. I’ve had to sometimes remind myself of that fact. But I understand how exhausting all of it can be. I’m sure you want nothing more than to be on the other side of it.
I smiled when you mentioned that you’ve had a “LOT of psycho-therapy and cognitive therapy.” My longstanding joke is that the actor, Woody Allen and I are in competition regarding who has been in therapy longer! Have you ever done work in somatic experiencing or sensorimotor therapy? They are body-centered therapies. With the right therapist, it can be quite effective.
I’m happy to hear that you have found some tools to help you cope and adapt to your situation. You are so right about humor. It’s really gotten me through some difficult days. I like my sense of humor, even if not everyone can relate to it. It sounds like you feel the same way. I’m also grateful for all of those people in my life who have helped me – some family, some friends, some passing acquaintances. They’ve been gifts from the Almighty.
I don’t know about you, but I believe that some of my health issues have come out of my sensitivities as an empath. The more empaths I meet, the more I often find that many have complex health challenges. I’ve been much more fatigued the past 2+ years, which I am certain is because of our toxic political climate. I’ve had to be more mindful of protecting myself from anything doesn’t belong to me, and to nurture myself daily.
I will keep you in my daily prayers, Bright Opal, and am sending you lots of light, love, and healing.
I'm undergoing surgery on Wednesday. I have a rare genetic condition called neurofibromatosis type 2 (NF2 for short) that causes noncancerous tumors to develop in the brain and spine and which requires surgery every now and then; I've undergone five inpatient operations since 2009. This upcoming procedure will involve removing a tumor from behind my left eye and is relatively minor compared to my other surgeries (I'll likely be in the hospital for 2-3 days compared to the 10 days I spent hospitalized in 2014 after a procedure that left me deaf in my left ear). I feel relaxed, and compared to other challenges chronicled on this thread, my upcoming surgery seems somewhat trivial. But the surgeon will be working in close proximity to my optic nerve, so I'm just hoping nothing catastrophic happens (like waking up blind in my left eye).
Bright Opal & deetoo: My spirit animal is (you guessed it!) the coyote, and coyote teaches us that laughing at our travails is a form of medicine. But seeing that this has become more difficult for you, Bright Opal, I'll make sure to send more coyote medicine your way.
I feel for you, Bright Opal. I, too, have spent so many years in depression. This time of year I’m doing so much better. I’ve also been put on adrenal support which is helping a lot. I wish the best for you.
Good luck, Coyote. That seems like a very difficult condition to live with. I pray all goes well with your surgery.
Sending my angels to both of you Bright Opal and Coyote.
Coyote coyote I pulled a good card on your left eye post surgery. Then I checked my work twice and both times I pulled good cards.
Bright Opal this world is difficult physically and mentally for empaths. I feel you heal people with your energy by connecting with them and then it’s hard to clear it. I see angels to your rescue.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this rare medical disorder. I don’t know your age, but unless I am mistaken, I believe that you are significantly younger than me (almost 67). That’s quite a life challenge on your plate. I strongly sense that you do not allow your health condition to define you. That’s a wonderful reminder to me that I am so much more than my physical body.
While I was out at lunch today, you popped into my head. When I thought about your surgery, I became very calm and peaceful. I believe that was a positive sign.
I am sending you healing light and many blessings. And I will be sending up special prayers for you tomorrow.
Thank you for your posts, Coyote. They are always thoughtful, kind, and wise. I always learn something from them.
Love to all of you posting and sharing here. You cannot even begin to know the number of hearts you are touching or the good it will now do.
My heart goes out to each and everyone of you. I know your challenges, your heartbreak, your hopes and dreams for release from these long term conditions and the countless treatments, medications, trials, and therapies.
But I can say to you, as one who has faced and continues to face my own physical health challenges and has learned over the course of 50 years of first battling them and then just living and growing with and from them, that what I learned from the physical or emotional or even deeply spiritual pain, from the losses of all I wanted to do with my life, and could not because of the physical challenges, that instead of our souls choosing of these paths, these "short paths" as the Buddhists call a challenging path filled with boulders and mountains instead of green grass and flowers, that each boulder I didn't think I could ever face much less climb over, I did.
And so did you.
Each mountain my bone deep or spasming physical or emotional pain yelled out at me not to tackle, I did anyway.
And so did you.
Each lesson I did not want to learn if it had to be so unbearably hard, is now becoming clearer and clearer,
as are you.
No instantaneous miracles but many miracles along the path of far different and more important kinds.
You dear, dear Bright Opal are a gift as well as a miracle of knowing, seeing, and being what many here cannot yet know, see, or be.
You are here right where you need to be and doing what that very, very hard "short" path (which is actually longer in far more deeper ways than anyone imagines) has strengthened your amazing deep inner faith and power, and your recognition, compassion, and ability to open up to grace and blessings to and from others.
And you wonderful, wonderful Coyote, are an immense powerful bright light of knowing and sharing as you use your gifts not inspite of any impediments that sought to invade that bright knowing center, but almost gained an absolutely incredible increase in your gifts from your strength and ceaseless acceptance of your path with innate knowing, as well.
Your gifts were so very needed here, just exactly when you went from one place to another and another to this one just as we needed you too.
Our love, light, and all that we draw them from, lifts you joth up as we connect with the highest versions of yourself simply by your sharing your stories and offering us the gift of intercession and joining you as parts of our own higher selves on this path.
This is the very essence of seeing one another as parts of the whole. All of us connected as one being of light, love, compassion and mercy for our choices in this lifetime to serve a far higher good.
Bless you both. My heart is filled to the brim with love for your incredible openess as a gift to us all.
And all of you who have opened up and posted here, all of you so very filled with your own challenges, and compassion and connecting here, we see you, feel you, reach out to you, and thank you from the bottoms of our hearts for your gracing all of us with your tears, your hearts yearning for healing, your spirits knowing you are here in this place to touch and to know all of us so that together we can be stronger, do better, be better, and grow into the incredible power and strength of that creative manifestation we know we are meant to be part of in this lifetime.
Love you all so much. Holding space with you all during the times ahead. 💜
Oh Coyote, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, specially today. I am sending you light and love. I pray for the surgeon to have sight and allow God/Spirit to guide their hands and tools so that everything goes well.
Deetoo, it looks like we are kindred spirits in this fight. I hope things continue to improve for you. I agree, our empathetic gift makes things more difficult for us. I am so glad you are being supported by family and friends. It is not always easy for them to understand what we are going through, so their support is very precious. Somatic or sensorimotor therapy sounds interesting. I'll look that up once I've moved.
I am grateful to you Jeanne for all your help. You may not know it, but often, when I was down, you were there to help me greatly. You have saved my sanity and spiritual life on more than one occasion by giving me purpose and wise advice. Your light is powerful!
Thank you Anita for you support. I will need to look up the adrenal support you are getting. I wish you the best in your fight as well. We need to support one another. Love hope lights and prayers to you
Shawn and Michele, thank you for your word of encouragement. Your messages have given me hope and strength. Michele, your strength is admirable. I am sending you light and love. I will continue to work on eventually adopting your philosophy of life and also get rid of the shame I am allowing these conditions to give me. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I just need to figure out
To everyone, all of your love, thoughts and prayers have given me energy, strength and hope. Yesterday, I planned things to do for my moving in 6 weeks. I was able to congratulate myself for each little things I was able to accomplish. It's been a while since I did that.
You are all wonderful people, it felt good to share my situation with you. I know I'm not alone in this and neither are you! I feel a ball/burst of love inside me that I want to share with all of you and those who have posted their difficulties on this site.
Lots of love to all of you dealing with the different situations above. Holding everyone in good thoughts and light.
I don't want to just add to the pile here, but an update on some of my previous situations that I have posted about:
My mom - she is still here dealing with her cancer. She is now in a nursing home as she needs full-time care. They tried some treatment for a couple of weeks, but it did not seem to work. They are giving her a couple of weeks to try and build some strength, get her to eat more, etc. then see what the options are (if any.) Not sure if this is just the slow decline that often happens, or if there is still a chance of some recovery. It is hard - I don't feel like she is done yet. Maybe I think that way because she is my mother and I don't want to see her go? Anyway, I humbly ask for any light, peace, comfort and guidance you can send her/our way in this process.
My daughters - we finally made a decision regarding schooling for our older daughter. She will be switching to a different school in the fall. We are hopeful that the change to a different format/environment will be a refreshing one and help her to find her path more solidly. She will be entering 7th grade, so it can be a tricky time. Nervous! But hopeful. Again, we would appreciate any positive vibes for the transition.
CC21 I wish you and your family all the best. I will keep all of you in my prayers. My Mom went through cancer a little over a year ago. It is very difficult to see a loved one go through something like that. I am sending you love strength and healing to you, your mother, your daughter and all of your family.
I am grateful that you wrote today. I had been thinking about you yesterday and this morning, wondering how you and your family are doing. I wanted to ask you directly in a post but hesitated because I didn’t want to be intrusive.
My heart goes out to you, CC21. I’ve been there with my mom, and I know how difficult this must be for you. May your angels surround you, your mom, and your entire family with their healing light. I will keep you all in my daily prayers.
I agree that we appear to be kindred spirits. It is comforting to find someone who understands some of what you’re going through.
I wish you well on your move. I know that just the prospect of moving can be exhausting, so I am glad to see that you are taking it one day at a time. You’ve probably been told that people with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and other autoimmune disorders need to “pace themselves.” When I’ve had a wonderful spurt of energy I have sometimes failed to follow that advice, and have paid dearly for it. It is sometimes difficult to walk that fine line between inertia (which can lead to depression) and a crazy attempt to do everything at once to make up for lost time.
Although you don’t have all of the answers, you are approaching your life challenges in a strong, clear-headed, and balanced way. You’re on your life path, walking your walk. And you’ve got guts.
May you receive the divine guidance you seek, and may your angels walk with you.
deetoo - It must have been meant to be as I had not posted or checked the board for weeks, until I decided to post. My mother passed away, peacefully, around 5 a.m. this morning. We were grateful for that as she had been struggling with her breathing and getting weaker for weeks. She was alert, but seeing things (getting ready?) the last few days, including lights she was trying to catch with her fingers. She went to bed last night and then was unresponsive. My siblings and her cousin were able to be with her and sit with her all night until she passed this morning. She was never in any distress.
I very much appreciate all of the prayers and good thoughts from all of you (whether you post or not.) We are all connected and I gather strength knowing you all are sending light our way. I do the same as I read others' posts here. Best to you all.
Words seem inadequate to express the sadness I feel about your mother’s passing. The passing of the person who first introduced us to this earth and who loved us along its paths is never easy. It is comforting to know that your mom was not in any distress, and that she was surrounded by your siblings and family members.
I understand the depths of your sorrow, and know how difficult this period must be for you and your family. My mom passed away from Alzheimer’s four years ago. It was so hard to lose her. Over time I was comforted knowing that the bond we shared would never be broken.
Please allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve, and let memories of the times you shared give you comfort. I am sending you blessings of healing light, love, peace.
Last night, I had to send my doggy, the love of my life, to the Rainbow Bridge.
I am beyond devastated. She was my best friend, my everything. Boxers usually only live between 10-12 years, but she was almost 13. She gave us so much joy and love...
I am distraught at the thought that she didn't realized the extent of how much we loved her.
Thank you for this forum.
Pacosurfer, I am so very sorry. My heart goes out to you.
I am currently reading a book called Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates because one of our dogs is very ill.
Dogs are the best.
Edited to say, please don't be distraught. She knew.