Wow! Thank you for sharing those photos and your experiences at the glass museum. Those glass photos are breathtaking. The first one especially had an affect on me. It felt like the souls reaching up and away from this life to the next dimension/life after death. The second one did remind me in a way of almost a "fetus" in a womb.
I think most of us want to know if we have a purpose and if so, what that is.
I've seen angels and seen "spirits/ghosts" and I've experienced things that have made me realize there is definitely a life after this one. I've had a past life regression, past life reading, etc. I've had a medium talk to my dead mother (one of the most wonderful experiences for me).
My late friend Sue (psychic /medium) told me that my husband and I have always been together in many lifetimes. She said he was always there to protect me and that in a previous life, she claimed that I was Anastasia Romanoff and that he was my guard assigned to protect me. (I don't know if this is true about Anastasia, however the day she told me this I was reading her book, had just watched a movie about her and she told me this while pulling into a street called "Anastasia Blvd" when making a wrong turn to turn around.)
I often wonder what I'm supposed to learn in this life and what I'm supposed to give. Sometimes I feel like I'm just working, eating, sleeping, waking and doing it all over again and then I feel like "isn't there more?". But I believe too that this lifetime is so short, like a blink of an eye in our souls eternity that even if we only learned one small lesson, that perhaps that was all it took. Perhaps we made one person feel better or helped someone in a time of need and that's all that was needed. Off to the next assignment someday!
Thanks again Bluebell! ?
Just want to thank you all for your prayers and support. My eye surgery was successful, according to my doctor. My right eye probably won't be as sharp as I was hoping, but that's fine. I'm very grateful for the gift of sight. I was very concerned about a number of strange symptoms I had post-op, but my doc said everything I told him was normal. (Although they could have warned me ahead of time to expect those after-effects!)
For those sensitive to meds (and even if you aren't): I'm on an eye drop that gives me funky side effects. My doctor recommended that after inserting the drop, I press both sides of the bridge of my nose, right between the eyes, for about 5 minutes. He said it allows more of the drop to stay in the eye and do what it's supposed to do, and less to escape and affect you systemically.
Lots of love to all of you. ❤️
While I’ve been trying to improve my health, I’ve also been dealing with a senior dog and cat. I’ve had thumping in my chest, so I’ve gone off Green Tea Extract, B6 and a third one I don’t recall right now. I’ve also gone off Cymbalta as I had increased Paxil and it seems that the 2 antidepressants at the same time can be a problem.
The dog seems stable right now, but our 16 year old cat seems to be in kidney failure.
Many tests yesterday over 4 hours. There was virtually no hope that Rocky would ever make it past January, even with heroic actions. Because we leave for 4 days on Tuesday, we have planned to give Rocky the best weekend we can, and have him euthanized on Monday. I have a tendency to go too long with our animals. I’m not good at letting go. Rocky’s down to 11 pounds after most of his life around 18.
This is always tough to do. I hope I’m doing the right thing. Meanwhile, my heart pounds. I took a Xanax, but it’s mostly just making me tired....
Anita
I’m so sorry to hear about Rocky; I can hear how much you love him. I had to put my doggie to sleep, and it is so hard.
It does sound like you are dealing with lots of stress and anxiety; and yes, xanax can make you feel tired. Losing your pet can definitely increase your stress; so please take care of yourself during this hard time
Thank you. We have dogs 10, 11, and 12. 9 of them have passed away. And this is our 3rd cat. He has been such a sweet one.
@Anita - Scroll up and you'll see I'm dealing with similar cat issues... I literally feel your pain. You are doing the right thing, though. 2 years ago, our 13 year old hound had been suffering with hyper-adrenal disease, and other issues, and we had to go out of state for a family function. We knew she would only probably have a few more weeks anyway, so we did what you're doing, gave her a great weekend. I even took her for a long walk in her favorite park right before we went to the vet, and then I returned her ashes to the base of one of her favorite trees in that same park.
As for Arlo - I have a non-update update. He's holding his own. I'm spoiling him rotten, but he's had no further neurological episodes, is not in pain and is still living his best life. I did speak with a special vet who does home euthanasia, so that when the time comes she'll know who we are.
Something new: they can return your pet's ashes in a Bio-Urn - you bury it in your yard, apparently it has flower seeds in it. I like that idea very much...
Thank you, Laura. I like the idea of the bio urn. It’s tempting, but I don’t know if we will ever move. We have a lot of urns with the kids. Only 2 aren’t . I have had palpitations all week and not read all of your post yet. But I will now. Thank you.
My brother-in-law went to the hospital a few days ago not feeling well and found out he had congestive heart failure. He was doing well and about to be released when he had a stroke yesterday. Fortunately he had it in the hospital and it was witnessed by my sister who immediately summoned for help. He was able to receive the appropriate medication right away which is a huge blessing.
He is currently in ICU and they are hopeful him cognitive functioning will continue to improve. He has passed the "swallow test".
My sister is very scared. They have 2 teenage children and my brother-in-law is currently the breadwinner of the family after she recently gave up her profession after dealing with some health issues herself. If you could send him healing love and light as well as his family I would greatly appreciate it.
I just did a healing meditation. I saw a big image of the Sun with a smiling face shining onto him. Never seen that before. Then I felt a lot of healing energy surrounding him.
my heart and love go out to each and every one of you. For those who are dealing with animals, I know you will do the best thing for them. Someone once said, don't make their last day on earth their worst day - we all hold on as long as we can, but we know when it's time.
Thank you Jeanne. I am sensing healing energy too I think which is a bit odd for me. I would not normally say that is one of my gifts. I LOVE your vision of the sun. Beautiful!!!
I have sent healing light to your brother in law as well. When I closed my eyes and meditated, I saw the warmest red glow as the healing energy on its way. This is a new experience for me and it has only happened like this during meditation when I was sending healing to another person just last night. Will send your sister that energy, too. What a shock this is for all the family and know how frightening this is. Much love to you and family.
Thank you for meditating and for sharing your experience in seeing the warm red glow. I know my sister could use the energy too. Yes it was a shock but there there are blessing which can be seen and felt. He is improving today and speaking slowly in complete sentences which is fantastic.
Ugh, is anyone else feeling like their energy has been really low/unfocused in recent weeks? Since the week before Thanksgiving, I’ve been having trouble staying committed to a productive daily routine. Some days I’ll be really on task. But on others, I’ll struggle to get through the basics. It doesn’t help that for the past two weeks, the place where I work has had a non-functioning furnace, and so I’ve been forced to work remotely, which is less than ideal. Even on my relatively productive days, I feel like my energy is being pulled in too many different directions, and I’ll have difficulty focusing my attention: there are the mundane things I have to do (preparing my meals, cleaning my apartment, etc.); work-related responsibilities; self-care routines I’ve been trying to integrate into my days for the past 2 months (Qigong, getting to the gym, meditating, walking outdoors, talking to my spirit guides); and also larger personal “soul projects” I want to attend to. On my bad days (such as today) the idea of a routine goes out the window, and I’m only reacting to the most pressing necessities in my life. And now there’s Christmas shopping to top it all off!
I’m very aware that we’re approaching the winter solstice. I also have to thank @vestralux for drawing attention in the “earth shaking” thread to a rare sequence of astrological events that are coming up this month. In general, I feel like I’m approaching a major transformational threshold in my life, and that some sort of significant energetic shift is brewing (for both myself and the collective). And now I’m just muddling through it all, hoping that things will start falling into place.
I feel that way frequently, but lately I've been very focused and on point.
It just depends on how my autoimmune disease is behaving on any day/week, how my emotional state is, whether something around me is triggering my traumas...
When this happens, I find it helpful to take a "snow day" - I disconnect, stay in my pajamas all day, and read and watch stupid TV while I hang out with my pets. I remove all daily pressures. I'll even announce to my family that I plan to do nothing that day - everyone will manage. If it's particularly bad, I nap while listening to some binaural beats.
Taking a whole day to recharge works for me, your mileage may vary, but worth a try.
Also, in terms of holiday stuff, I have cut WAY back on what I used to do. I no longer make hundreds of cookies, I don't send out holiday cards anymore, and I only get gifts for immediate family, I no longer make big holiday dinners and I avoid big parties.
Hi, special people. I could really use a calmer, clearer head than my own right now.
I just found out that my last grandparent passed away on Thursday. My biological dad's wife called to let me know; I "broke up" with him years ago for myriad reasons, but knew the day would eventually come when one of them would have to let me know that my grandma was gone.
She told me that he would like very much to talk at some point, and I should feel free to call. Much of the problem with him and me was that he couldn't be bothered to make any effort to be in my life, and now I'm being told to call him.
I've gone through the grieving process for the loss of this relationship. I've gone through the anger that he prevented me from ever having a true relationship with my grandma. I've second-guessed myself numerous times, only to remember why it was the right thing to do.
He caused a lot of pain in my life, directly and indirectly, and nearly all of me doesn't want to let him back in. I see no need.
His wife told me the service will be this Thursday. Even if it wasn't seven hours away, I still couldn't go ... I will be on a plane with my family to Seattle. I know I wouldn't go anyway, though ... what would I say? And to whom? And there's a luncheon afterward ... are you kidding me? I'd sit there ... what ... chatting with people?
My heart breaks for the loss of my grandma, but it breaks more for what could have been and never was allowed to be for my and her relationship. And then I'm angry all over again, and remember why I cut her son out of my life.
Is it really up to me to be the bigger person and reach out to him to mend a fence I'm not sure I want to revisit? Wouldn't that just be more for him than me at this point? All the pain he caused during my life, do I really need to dredge it all up again to make him feel better? But, dammit ... I also don't want the karmic baggage.
If there's some sort of healing vibe or mantra for clarity, I would love to be pointed in the right direction. He's been messing with my head and heart for 38 years, and I'm exhausted.
Thanks.
Your grandma knows YOU and loves/loved you anyway. You don't have any reason to feel bad (even though you may anyway) about not being able to go to the service. I will pray for you and send you light tonight...I feel you may sense your grandma on the 3rd day after you heard she passed. ....hope I am right :-)
I am very sorry for all of your losses: your grandma’s passing, the loss of connection with her, what could have been with your father. I’m sure that it feels overwhelming. My heart goes out to you.
I don’t know your father or his intentions, but my most immediate impression is that this loss has created a moment of deep reflection and regret for him. But that could be my own projections. With my advancing age (67), I sometimes think about “what could have been.” It’s that unfinished business that can haunt me.
I strongly sense that this is a point of healing transformation for you. I don’t know what that means or what you should do. I am a writer, so my immediate inclination is to write down my thoughts and feelings. It offers me some clarity. Whether I choose to share those thoughts and feelings can come later. Sometimes reconnecting with an important person from your past can do more harm than good; other times, it can be a blessing. There is no right answer.
If I were you, I wouldn’t worry about karmic baggage. In my own life, that just makes me feel guilty and sometimes complicates matters, forcing me to take action before I am ready. I’m still not certain why we are implanted here, on this messy planet, but if we are meant to learn some lessons, then the teachers appear when we’re ready for them. We will evolve in our own time. The fact that you care enough to address these painful questions says a lot about your loving spirit and your evolution.
Please take care of yourself and nurture your spirit, whatever that looks like. I see and feel angels and guides around you, ready to help out. Please reach out to those spirits, and to the support of this community. I pray for your divine guidance, and am sending you light and love.
You loved and were not loved back .
You did your best and stay unreckoned .
You can't walk your father's path of redemption .
You can' t carry his cross .
Please accept that life can be unjust . Please accept that it is not your fault .
One day we will fix the universe . One day he will knock on your door to fix the wrongs he did .
One day you will meet this grand-mother and all that was lost will be regained .
Next to this dark storm, floats a rainbow with your heart inside .
The clouds will turn to rain . The rain will make the flowers blossom .
Your troubled relationship with your father and the loss of your grandmother could be my own story. It's very difficult to reconcile with a parent when there's a load of emotional baggage and from my own experience, later after that parent is gone, it's hard to know how to grieve. Like you say, we tend to think about what might have been. I spent decades mourning what might have been, but a while back I turned a page and have peace on that issue. I no longer think of what might have been, but have acceptance for what was, what my life has been. And I celebrate that I survived it all and have peace in my heart and no bitterness.
While you're grieving for your grandmother and struggling to deal with a living, yet disappointing parent, there are still methods you can use to bring yourself inner peace.
If you practice faith, consider praying for your father and praying for blessings to touch his heart. You might not think that's your heart's desire, but you will find that praying for someone to be blessed will set you free. You could also use Jeanne's Loving Kindness meditation, which will help you send love to your family and to heal yourself.
I'm so very sorry for your loss and am sending you light and love to protect you during this time of bereavement. Please know that you will get through these experiences, that your spirit will grow in peace and understanding. Much love to you.