If You Have an Accomplishment or Positive Development You Want to Celebrate, Let Us Know and We'll Celebrate with You

@coyote

I like this thread. 

Tonight I clicked on one of those facebook meme sites I'm on. This one is focused on God messages. And along with the message, two letters I had written came up. One from 2012 where I asked God to fix my life. Where I said I would tie a knot on the end of my rope. Which I did for the next seven years after that.

It was a very concrete confirmation that I made the right choice to start over and leave a bad situation. Mercury Retrogade probably brought those messages to me, feeling as if they had washed up on shore with the tide.

The other from this past February where I sought to counsel and comfort someone else.

Turns out my words to stay in the present and be grateful for all you have, and not dwell so much on what you lost... those were the words I needed. 

That and a message to use one hand to help yourself and the other to help others.

I feel the excitement of the Democratic process. I considered a run for office. I volunteered for Madeleine Dean and got to work a rally in Philly as a volunteer and hear President Obama speak. Although I was in ill health, I pounded the pavement for the Dems and my candidate won. She is an awesome rep for that district she serves. 

One more political high point- I am an artist and Nancy Pelosi has one of my Wonder Woman prints. I had the opportunity to hear her speak and was all set to meet her, but my dog had taken ill and I left my work with her chief of staff instead.

 Thanks for the uplifting thread @coyote

@ghandigirl

Yes, Ghandigirl! There are so many small threads that have coalesced to create these positive changes in your life. I feel like if we take some time to write or think about small positive developments in our lives, be it privately or on this forum, we become more aware of our blessings and lay the groundwork for further improvements.  

I should have written in my first post that collective celebration is highly potent, especially in the darkest days. One of the most subversive things we can do is let ourselves and the people around us feel joy while the dominant cultural landscape is telling us in 100 different ways: "Panic! Be angry! Worry nonstop! Hate the enemy! Doom is coming!" I'm sick and tired of being dour all the time. I've spent the better part of the past 18 years in that mindset. It's time to move on to something better.

@jeanne-mayell

I went a bit overboard with this thread's title, and now it takes up lots of space. I can't edit it now, so if you want to make the title more succinct, then go ahead.

@coyote I wouldn't change it. I love it.  Thank you for adding it. I added "ment" to "accomplish", so now it is even longer. :-)

I haven't been on this forum for days because life on my end has been keeping me busy to say the least. Most of them is quite hectic, such as my class is transfering towards online turorials, getting some food and basic needs (which is eaiser said than done), while at the same time watching the movement of Melbourne slowly dying.

But I got my first bike today. While the reasons for me getting it was not good (It's about making sure that my parents don't move out of the house as much when it comes to going to the groceries and such), for me it felt like I've made a big step towards gaining some sort of independance and growth.

Well, I'm an artist and for most of my life I've been told that my future is limited and at times people around me like to crush my hopes for the future, saying that it's too unrealistic for someone who is not smart and should be treated like a kid glove. The bike discussion with my parents is one of the latest things that they said it isin't a good idea and my mother said I'm too delicate to ride on something like that, despite the fact that riding a bike has a bigger gain than riding a car or public transport at this time.

So I went out and bought it on my own accord, because their 'safe' ways seems like a death trap to me. I've rode it and I've enjoyed it. A little too much, to the point I didn't realised my limitations with my current consitution, forgeting to eat and got dehydrated. I've ended up feeling sick and threw myself up a little at the bike path. Fortunately, there's a lady who helped me by giving some water and a short company, a reminder that there's some good in the world. I did manage to finish my journey back to the studio. Although via by train instead.

Despite all of that, I'm very excited to ride my bike again. Some how I felt like there's some things in life that I could do, despite my mental status, giving me some hope that I can live my life without the fear of my impairment in the mind.

@goldstone

You are more than your disorder.

The bigger part of you is timeless, and has no boundaries. 

You are more than your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts, the one who can say, "Stop. That's not helping." Or, "What hurts? What do you (I ) need?" 

The bike sounds great. I wish you have the use of it in the best of health. Thank you for taking care of the elders in your family. 

@goldstone

I second everything @ghandigirl said. When you start looking at the symptoms of your disorder as mere objects of your consciousness, you can begin to shift those symptoms. I'm also delighted by your decision to take up bike riding. I've always been a biker, and when my neurodegenerative condition started ramping up 10 years ago, the difficulties I had riding a bike were the yardstick that indicated what capacities I was losing. Now I'm training for a charity bike ride that will take place in September, and I'm determined to make biking the yardstick by which I will measure my increasing strength and vitality.

This is all to say, just go for it! Craft your own narrative. You do YOU.

My thoughts lately have been a clash of conflicting priorities. I'm not sure yet what are the most important tasks I should be focusing on while industrial society's meta-narratives are torn to shreds in real time.

Yet one facet of self-knowing stands central in my awareness, and it's been growing stronger over the past 4 months: I don't have any nostalgia for the past. I have personal memories that I am fond of, but I'm not pining for "the good old days." My best days are ahead of me, and of this I am certain.

I feel incredibly blessed to have this knowledge of my future, when most people my age are turning cynical. Right after the New Year, I met up with an old friend from high school who I hadn't seen in more than 6 years. When we were talking about our other mutual friends, he asked me whether I found it weird that not so long ago we were kids in grade school and now we're all working and living in different states. The way he posed the question, I could tell he was speaking from a place of disappointment: "Now we're all servants to the grind." I had trouble putting into words that i don't feel that way. For me at least, the progression from childhood then adolescence (when I was drinking the Kool Aid of our collective societal nightmare) to young adulthood (where I'm remembering my soul purpose) feels gratifying. I'm being led to experiences that will make my previous 25 years look like a silent black-and-white film.

That's my gush for the day. I'm looking forward to seeing many of you tonight.

Today I am beginning again to embrace sobriety. I was sober for 21 years, and more recently for 4 months. 

I am feeling stronger, calmer, and ready to breathe deeply again and have no false vision.

I am proud of myself for even trying during this pandemic. I feel being sober is the last piece in the puzzle I am building of best practices to ensure I stay illness free.

Keep workin' it @ghandigirl, you can do it, we have faith in you!

Today is my hubby's 19th NA anniversary, if he can do it so can you!

And I apologize for my many references to alcohol on here, I'm not an addict, and if it wasn't for Chardonnay I doubt my daughter would have survived to adulthood.

hey there, @ghandigirl!

 i just wanted to encourage you today.  I know that being in the middle of a pandemic seems like a strange time to embrace sobriety- what with all of the loneliness, stress, and boredom that come from isolation.  But for me, it has been a great time to make some changes, since there is no where to go, and nothing to do anyway.  In the past, i might have spent a day like this daydrinking with friends, playing weird music, and dancing all over the yard.  But friends can't hang out together now, so it really doesn't matter if i am not my usual jolly, fun-loving self. If i feel sullen or dull, that's ok. The birds and the squirrels don't seem to mind

@laura-f

@unk p

Actually I don't drink or illegally drug, but I overuse medical mj to the point where it is an addiction, a really bad addiction, and not healthy. I smoke way too much every single day. Especially since I have asthma and a history of lung diseases. Edibles are way too strong and oils also. I also feel that it exacerbates my bipolar disorder as I communicate much more strangely when impaired. I feel so much better in every way when I am able to navigate without this crutch and I can breathe a whole lot better too. 

When I tell people that I struggle with addiction to mj, I am usually dismissed. It is considered as not a real drug by many.  But you can become addicted to anything in this life.

Thanks everyone for your support.  

@ghandigirl i wasn't trying to imply that you were a drinker. I was just pointing out that sometimes it is a little easier to make changes when everything else is also changing, even if it sounds counter-intuitive.

 And it is true that addiction is addiction.  I used to smoke weed everyday too. Couldn't get enough.  And then, suddenly, i didn't care anymore whether i had it or not. Hardly ever think about it now.  Just want to wish you well, and let you know that i think you are really cool- whether high or not

@unk-p

Aw- thanks!

Just got some good news and with it came a confirmation that I need to trust my intuition!

A little background: my son is 13 and will be starting high school in the fall. School has been a roller coaster because he is both highly intelligent and disabled (autistic with dysgraphia). He moved up from from Kindergarden to 1st grade (better fit), so he's also smaller & younger than peers in his grade. By 4th grade he was so miserable that we wanted to drop out of school, this from a kid who was a voracious reader, including everything he could get his hands on about the periodic table. His teacher then gave him Cs and Ds for not showing his work in math and my son just shut down and refused to write at all. He would sob and beg to not have to go back to school each day. We promised him that if he just finished that year then he'd go somewhere else. He got a spot in an arts-integrated charter school that he liked and he decided to go there instead of trying home schooling. And he's done very well from 5th through 8th, thanks to so many wonderful teachers who understand and appreciate him. Some teachers just don't get how a kid who tests super high and is writing a novel can struggle to write a paragraph that explains his thoughts on a simple prompt, but his middle school teachers (same ones for 7th & 8th) know he is not lazy and they've been a great support and have helped him grow.

So, looking at high school was pretty daunting! His dad & I have 50/50 custody and live in different districts so we had a number of options. The former school where he struggled is in my district, and I did not feel good about the high school options here, especially with so much turnover in upper administration (going on 4th superintendent in less than 10 years!). While I want him to learn important life skills and to develop resilience to handle life's challenges, I don't want him so overwhelmed that he shuts down and gives up. Things looked up when he, his dad and I toured a public STEM honors school in his dad's district. Being a teacher and having worked in public schools in the past, I know what to look for, and we were all very impressed by this school, which had an overwhelming positive & supportive feeling. I even thought he might not need his 504! Their approach relies on hands-on projects and the students were clearly motivated and engaged--and there's a culture of mutual support rather than competition, like "We're all here to help one another succeed." He and his dad and I all agreed that it was a good fit, and my son made that his top choice. But... it is a limited program and only 100 students per grade level are admitted by lottery. We knew he had a 50/50 chance, but were still devastated when we got the news that he didn't get in. 

I should say I was devastated. High school was a major time of trauma for me, and I even graduated a year early just to escape. My son is much more confident and optimistic than I am, and he took the news in stride. We were looking at another charter school, one that would have been a good option, although I really didn't want another 4 years of charter school for a number of reasons. 

Okay, I'll finally get to the point here: we expected to get a call from the STEM school on Friday, May 8th and when we didn't, I had a sinking feeling, even though we heard from a friend that they would still be calling families on Monday. As we were getting ready to walk the dog that evening, I had one of my "deja-vu/pre-cog" moments and the sense was that he would be on the waiting list now but we'd learn later that he got a spot. 

On Monday his dad got the waiting list letter. Did I process this news with grace, knowing by the blessing of my intuition and message from spirit that he would get in later? Nope. I sank into an angsty mood for several days. What lifted me out was trust in my son--he really is a trooper and knows how to look on the bright side of things! 

And.... then today his dad texted me that the STEM school called and he's in. Woo hoo! 

What a lesson in trust--in my beloved child and in spirit and in those flashes of intuition. 

@herondreams

I am so happy for you and your son!!  ? ? ❤️   Reading your post instantly lifted my spirit.   Wishing him nothing but the best on his High School adventures ❤️ ❤️ .

@herondreams,

I feel the same as @mililani -- your post really lifted my spirits.  Both you and his dad sound like great parents.  You've given your son such a nurturing and solid foundation on which to build his life. 

Your son sounds very special, and wise beyond his years.  

@herondreams

Absolutely one of those well deserved miracles of how things work out for the best for all.

There is so many wonderful possibilities of even more to come out of this for all of you.

Kudos to all three of you--your son for being a trooper inspite of having to jump greater hurdles and for being exactly who he is because he is absolutely wonderful as he is as are you and his father for working together and communicating as a team for your so deserving son!

Grest feel good accomplishment for all of you! ?

@deetoo and @Lani804 Thanks so much! ❤️ ? ? 

@herondreams

My son (now 27) also has dysgraphia, so I feel deeply everything you've written about your son!

In the upper elementary years my son was told to stop being sloppy and clean up his penmanship ... well, he can't! Even with therapy (he did something called "Hands Gym") he cannot improve his penmanship or his spelling, no matter how hard he tries.

Phonetics is a concept people with dysgraphia typically do not get. To ace his spelling tests, he would memorize words as whole units instead of sounding them out. He formed a huge database in his head that tells him, "This word makes this sound, and that word makes that sound," since he is unable to break up and sound out syllables individually.

He was always great at math but would do the same thing your son does, do the math in his head. He would never show his work. But he was not cheating! I would watch him do his homework, observing how he did complicated math in his head, never jotting anything down but simply staring off into space,  his eyes occasionally moving from side to side. If you didn't know any better, he looked like he was daydreaming. After a few moments he would write down the exact. right. answer! Every time. I'd ask him, "How did you come up with this?" and he was never able to tell me. Somehow, he had worked up systems in his head. He could "see" math. I made sure to tell him that was a gift he had that other kids did not (since he was always hard on himself that others wrote better than he did).

There was one amazing teacher in middle school who had a nephew with dysgraphia and was so understanding of this condition and helpful to my son. Most teachers had zero experience with dysgraphia. A handful were open to learning more about this LD. His 4th grade teacher was amazing about supplying him with extra math puzzles because he was always bored with the level of math being taught.

Kids like your son and mine are very bright but do need extra guidance and most of all a lot of moral support. Asking them to do things the traditional way (whatever that is!) is very much like asking a deaf person to work harder to hear. It's just not possible. The mechanics of writing, spelling, and phonetics simply aren't there for dysgraphic kids, no matter how hard they try. Thankfully, there are other ways of learning and getting by. In high school, my son wrote brilliantly, and it was all thanks to computers and spellcheck helping him put into writing the advanced thoughts in his head :)

You and your son's dad are doing great with your son, and I commend you both. Moving forward, keep thinking out of the box. Keep believing in him! He may or may not follow a traditional path. My son did four years of college studying first engineering, then writing, and ultimately leaving without a degree. But he's doing well, finding his way. He's worked at fast food, he's written computer programs, he's worked at Disneyworld, he's worked at a front desk and as a classroom assistant, and now with his sister, he builds and runs an escape room, which he's very proud of. When he was in high school, escape rooms didn't even exist! He loves to cook and garden, animals always gravitate to him and his calm energy, and being with people he loves is far more important to him than chasing after money. He's still a brilliant thinker who struggles with expressing his thoughts, and he's experienced periods of depression, but he keeps searching for and finding his way. His core family and friends love him and never give up on him. 

Your son may or may not go the route you envision for him, but he will find his way, and your support will be of immeasurable value to him as he moves forward!