[Closed] Feeling just so angry! What to do with this. Feel free to vent here. And help the venters.
Are you feeling angry these days? Politics, unpunished abuse of children, the squashing of the Mueller report? William Barr unrecusing himself from the Epstein case bother you? How about the abuse and neglect of women and children at the border? We now have internment camps in our name. We pay for them with our tax dollars. We paid for the Republican military fourth of July promo. How about Trump's continual impunity? His rants. McConnell's protecting him in exchange for all that money his wife helps herself to by fixing government regulations that enrich her family business? Then there's Prince Kushner, his son in law, please don't get me started on him.
There is no end to the things that can make us angry these days, and I haven't even mentioned the person issues you might be coping with - at home and at work.
So how to cope with this? When is anger healthy and when is it hurting you?
If you have some anger you want to get out here, fine. People can help. If you want to talk about how you are dealing with anger, that's fine too.
I've been a dancer of one kind or another since the age of 4. It helped me through all my childhood traumas/abuse, a first marriage to a narcissistic sociopath, and many other trials and tribulations.
I recommend dance, in any form! For me I find tap and flamenco particularly helpful. I visualize the heads of people who are annoying me underneath my stamping feet.
If you can't dance, maybe sing, or really any other creative outlet. I also sing, and I find it puts me in an almost meditative state, especially if I'm singing with a chorus.
I walk the beach and talk to God and Monica. It's amazing what an out loud conversation while in mother nature can do for you to help sort things out and put them in perspective. Since I'm rather house bound with taking care of two failing parents, I substitute floating in the pool to meditate or just be.
I try to keep in mind, I can only change myself and the way I react to things. I remind myself that how others treat us is their Karma, how we react is ours.
Laura F. and Cindy,
I enjoyed these two posts very much. I dance too, buts its more that kind of improvisations moving with music to center myself into joy and feel the beauty and rhythm within of still being able to move far more easily to music when 40 years of arthritis have made normal walking, bending or even getting out of bed challenging so many times.
Music transports me to a different space in time where the energies shift and fluidity and balance returns.
And Cindy, oh yes! I talk to all if my loved ones that are no longer in this realm almost every day.
That connection of heart and spirit is all the proof I need to know that there is more than just this world in my life
Hi everyone, and thank you Jeanne for posting this. I am angry, I have been angry for a long time. What makes me most angry is seeing the reaction of people around me to the news. As a former child refugee myself the thought of what's going on now at the border is bone chilling - I don't even think I have the capacity to feel everything fully at the moment - I've numbed it. I'm extremely angry at ordinary people who don't care, people who either look away, make excuses or say outright that they don't care. Those people make me want to physically assault them. I haven't and won't physically hurt anyone, but the urge is there to shake them into some humanity. Sometimes when I need to breathe I go for a walk around fresh pond after work - I'll probably do that today. Tomorrow me and my husband are planning on attending the lights for liberty vigil in the evening. I have a feeling I'll cry then, but hopefully some good will come from the action. I've also started seeing a therapist, who is wonderful and very helpful. She listens to me vent and that soothes me.
I have seen other posts about Trump being stronger. Yet, I don´t remember so many things happening against him at the same time: Epstein, more women coming up with testimonies of Moron´s abuses and rapes, the census question, the children at the border, Mueller, more people on Twitter talking about dementia, the candid ambassador, his failing trading war, and so on, and so forth. It makes one think that if everybody stopped talking about him, he would die. He seems stronger exactly because he craves it, the chaos, as do the yahoos who voted for him.
Here is a link to Lights for Liberty Vigil info:
There are more than 500 scheduled worldwide for tomorrow, July 12.
I was planning to go to the one here in San Ysidro, but circumstances have once again conspired against me...
It looks like they are up to over 750 demonstrations listed for Lights of Liberty. I found a link for virtual participation since I don’t live in the US. Even if I can’t be there in person, I can light a candle and send positive energy to those who are participating.
I feel like I keep swinging between anger and extreme sadness at all of the horrible things that this administration is doing. It is jarring and traumatic and I don’t even live there!
I remind myself that nothing is permanent and even they will not live forever but in the midst of the outrages and evil, it is hard to stay calm and focused. Meditation is helping. It is a way to send energy to those who will help us find a way out of the madness.
I feel anger and despair. The wheels of justice turn sooo <effing> slowly, as to favor those who are lawless. I see "friends" and co-workers who support our President and his policies. People who I thought had good hearts. Maybe they do.....but when I look at the suffering that is being caused by this administration, am I just "enlightened"? Do they really have good hearts? Should I keep my relationships with people like this because I "think" they are good people? Or should I remove them from my life as their moral compass and mine don't intersect?
It truly feels like Spirit has abandoned humanity. I know this isn't true, but it sure feels like it. Where is the justice? Why does it take so long? And when it arrives, it won't ever be fair to those impacted.
Did the Rust Belt feel that Justice hadn't been done? Is that why they supported Trump? Did Middle America feel a lack of Justice (for whatever injustices they felt have been perpetrated upon them) hence supported Trump? Is their anger/vileness against minorities, LBGTQ groups, Black Lives Matter, etc based upon the fact that these groups are organizing and demanding Justice? Is this whole era about I suffered and you need to suffer too? Is it really a lidless crab pot, where one crab tries to climb out to freedom and invariably another crab or several grab onto it and pull it back into the pot (hence why it doesn't need a lid....<courtesy of Terry Pratchett>)?
I can't stand hypocrisy. I can't stand people who lack integrity, yet....apparently.....nearly half of this country has zero issue with it....so long as they are "winning".
I agree with so much in your post (under Situation unraveling for Trump). I was in high school during many of the big movements of the 60’s. Over the years, I told myself that as women we’ve made great strides – which is only partly true, because I never really faced the hidden misogyny. I guess that I wasn’t unlike my mom and aunt – I remember as a child hearing them discuss a married woman they knew. They couldn’t understand what she had to complain about. My aunt remarked, “at least he doesn’t hit her.” When I heard that, I felt terrible. I was just a little kid, but I knew something was wrong with that remark. Why would they be willing to settle for so little? And yet, as I look back, there were times when I settled for so little. And wondered why I was so damn angry!
And now we have an immoral, sadistic, misogynistic president. He wears it like a badge of honor. It pains and angers me that so many white women voted for him. And some will vote for him again.
I really admire the work you are doing as a therapist. I’m sure it’s quite challenging now. I’d venture to guess that if you end up working with a T**** supporter, it might be a good thing. Let’s face it – most of us enter therapy because something is amiss in our lives. We’re not feeling well emotionally and/or spiritually. So it’s possible that through your work, you might also help to open a mind, and soften a heart.
I was seeing a therapist back in 2016, and had an appointment with her three days after the election. She was part of a large women’s group practice, and you could feel the sadness as you entered the building. I felt raw, and talked primarily about the election. Then I saw the big tears in her eyes, which I acknowledged. She apologized, stating that she should really be there for me. The thing is, she was there for me. And I told her so. And we cried together.
@codyroo, I felt such sadness as I read your post. You really hit upon the sordid truth – the fact that so many Americans support him and a lot of his policies. THAT is what can keep me up nights – not so much T**** and his enablers in Congress. All of those hardened hearts. Neighbors, friends, coworkers. People we thought we knew. Yes, he is a sadistic monster. And because he is that monster, NO ONE should be supporting him.
Many in the media are now frequently saying, "the cruelty is the point." I feel like I've been transported back to the Roman Colosseum days, and T**** is our Nero. All of this for his sadistic entertainment. And also entertainment for some of his followers.
By now everyone knows who and what he is – deep down inside, they know. And that seems to be okay with some of them. And that’s a bitter pill to swallow.
@polarberry, I shared your post with my husband, who commented "don't monkeys fling their feces?" I replied, "Oh! So that's why, for the past 2+ years, I've felt like I needed a shower!"
There was a time back in my 20's when I didn't read the news at all. I only read the Boston Globe for their full page Filenes Basement ads so I could go and buy nice clothes and be attractive. I was more concerned with my personal outward success than the greater world.
I had grown up in a politically conservative family in a politically conservative town. I remember at age five my school staged an election for the kids, and I voted for Eisenhower over Stevenson. I high-fived a little classmate when we compared notes as to who we voted for. Later I learned what a great man Adelai Stevenson was. But I was just five years old, and couldn't even read. Even later when I could read, my focus was more on finding a mate and settling down than on concerning myself with politics and the plights of people I didn't know. It was only after I went through a life crisis that I began to see the bigger world and the pain my own country inflicted on the vulnerable.
I tell you this because I feel that large segments of our population are about as awake as I was back then. They watch Fox and are more concerned with their own lives, and they believe the propaganda fed to them. But they are not all bad people; they are just asleep.
Even though I know this, some days I don't know who I am more angry at -- the orange blight and his enablers who are in charge or the masses of sheep that support him and his party of thugs.
Yes, I think that some people are more selfish than others.
But how do I explain people who are kind and giving who also vote for the Thuglican party? I think it's mostly that they need to focus on themselves and are asleep and brainwashed about the greater world. Back when I was asleep and brainwashed I was still a good person, just unable to focus on the greater collective, so I let the prevailing propaganda guide me.
I don't think the thuglican-voting collective will change until they experience a level of suffering that shows them that the Thug party doesn't care about them at all.
In the past, the economy has determined the elections. People vote how they feel economically in the 12 months prior to the election. If the economy is good, they vote for the incumbent party. If it's bad, they vote for the other party.
I went to bed the night of the election, knowing what would happen. I was restless all night ... nightmares and wakefulness until I couldn't take it anymore and got out of bed. Later that day, alone in the house, the overwhelming fear and fury and sense of how wrong it all felt came over me and I wailed. I'd never before felt that way or heard that sound come out of me. Fear for my kids, for my son who was about to turn 18 in a world led by trump, for women and immigrants, for all the people whose lives would be destroyed by this administration.
I marched that January, I showed up at other events, I got involved in campaigns for 2018. But now it feels like all the horrible things are gaining speed and momentum, lives are being destroyed every minute, and every force that could stop it is just sitting back, letting it happen, for ... what? Fear? Not wanting to upset the status quo? The privilege of thinking it doesn't affect them so wait it out? Every news alert that pops up today just adds to the overwhelming feelings ... ICE raids ... worry about vigilantes doing their own thing ... now Mueller's hearing is delayed ... Pelosi and others sitting on their hands ...
Years of clawing my way out of depression are being undone. My energy to fight is being zapped. People I used to love and respect have become toxic to me because I can't stand knowing that they voted for this person and continue to refuse to listen to the truth. They think I'm hyperbolic, hysterical, over-exaggerating. I know they feel personally attacked because they refuse to acknowledge truth or believe things are really so bad.
I want to keep fighting. I want to watch it all burn, and see the goodness rise from the ashes. But at this point, the only thing I feel is hopelessness that the dark is winning. The vigil tonight has been on my calendar and in my plans, but right now the thought of going fills me with dread because it feels so moot. I want to be useful, of service, but the anger is getting so heavy that just getting out of bed is hard.
The worst part is I feel so guilty about it, knowing the privilege I live in that lets me say that I just can't make it. So many people need the effort and energy of all those who fight for them, and yet I feel like my fight is gone.
My husband and I used to talk about what we would do if the end of the world was coming. He said he would run out into the streets and fight for survival. I said I would grab my children and hold them until the end. And when I think of all the parents who were trying to do both simultaneously, and now they are living through hell at the border ... I want to fight for them. I want justice for them. So why do I feel like I literally can't walk out the door? "Out there" is too much. The ignorance is too much. The hate is too much. The "it's not my problem" is too much. The cognitive dissonance is too much. And yet losing the will to fight is just as bad, and puts as much blame on me as the ones causing it.
I know there's hope, that one day this will all come to an end and the world will move on. But how do you live with hating everything and everyone around you, that you can see the dark bubble in which they move? It literally feels like every day is fighting the dementors from Harry Potter, that they are sucking every ounce of energy and will and light from those who resist them. How do you recharge and keep going without a magic wand? What is our patronus?
Saibh- I feel for you. I've battled depression my whole life, and in 2016 I was just coming out of a long bout when the election happened. I worked hard in 2017 and 18 - lots of volunteering, marches, etc. It exhausted me. I feel hopeless most of the time too. I decided that for 2019 I would take a sabbatical, and only engage on the peripheries of the Resistance, to recharge for the next big election. I'm calling it my "White Privilege Sabbatical", in fact. I'm taking this year to work on my physical and mental health, and that of my small family. Do not feel bad if you need to do the same. All of us "sensitives" face these struggles, and sometimes you do need to retreat in order to regroup. Here is what I'm doing/not doing this year, and so far it's really helping:
- Left all social media. No twitter or facebook accounts, I deactivated.
- Subscribed to the LA Times online, as it is a reasonable newspaper for journalism, but I only scan it once or twice a week.
- Subscribed to and donate to ProPublica - the last truly independent source of news in the US.
- Take other news through a comedy filter - whether Stephen Colbert, Samantha Bee, or The Daily Show. There's a reason clowns and jesters have always existed, so go with it.
- Pick and choose the rare activity that reflects your views (trying to get to tonight's vigil, but don't have a ride, so I may opt for the online version).
- I use 5calls.org - once a week I use it to contact my local representatives on various issues, they provide handy scripts and I feel like I can do that without any exertion.
- I don't watch news/debates/etc. directly unless something really urgent is happening (following weather news and praying for NoLa right now).
- Following up on minor health issues I have postponed for years for one reason or another.
- Continuing to engage in creative processes on an almost daily basis (for me, dance and singing).
- Spending social time with people IRL - family and friends. Sometimes we talk politics, sometimes we don't,but either way it's enjoyable.
- Plan getaways or even staycations in which you are truly unplugged. I find even just the planning makes me feel better.
- Ignore people who are clearly in the brainwashed base. Send them love and light privately, but don't engage - most of them are energy vampires (intentional or unintentional).
- Keep visualizing a better future.
I send you love, light, hugs, peace.
LOL. Noted, and I agree. Monkey dung is at least useful for scientific research. I think of anything Orange Foolius is good for.
He flings it, hourly. Good thing it only sticks to the stupid.
I loathe him. I see his smirking face and hear his pompous voice and I want to vomit.
I'm so angry that I can't be close to my family who supports this monster. I'm so angry when I see a "Trump 2020: Making Liberals Cry Again" bumperstickers and t-shirts. That people think this is funny, when so many people are suffering.
I'm so angry that my life is pretty much divided into two parts--pre-Trump and now.
I'm so effin angry of all the hate that Obama got, that he got screwed out of a Supreme Court pick, by the Republicans who no longer care. Not that they cared before, but now they aren't hiding it.